"O woman! lovely woman! Nature made thee To temper man: we had been brutes without you. Angels are painted fair, to look like you: There ’s in you all that we believe of heaven,— Amazing brightness, purity, and truth, Eternal joy, and everlasting love."

"Give but an Englishman his whore and ease, Beef and a sea-coal fire, he's yours forever."

"I would have walked on the water But I wasn't fully insured. And the BMA sent a writ my way With the very first leper I cured."

"Now God killed John Lennon and he let Barry Manilow survive, But the good Lord blessed little Adrian Mitchell with the fastest cock alive."

"When I am sad and weary When I think all hope has gone When I walk along High Holborn I think of you with nothing on"

"Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people."

"I was run over by the truth one day. Ever since the accident I've walked this way"

"You put your bombers in, you put your conscience out, You take the human being and you twist it all about So scrub my skin with women Chain my tongue with whisky Stuff my nose with garlic Coat my eyes with butter Fill my ears with silver Stick my legs in plaster Tell me lies about Vietnam."

"He that hath such acuteness, and such wit, As would aske ten good heads to husband it; He that can write so well that no man dare Refuse it for the best, let him beware: BEAUMONT is dead, by whose sole death appeares, Wit’s a Disease consumes men in few yeares."

"Plot me no plots."

"What things have we seen Done at the Mermaid! heard words that have been So nimble and so full of subtile flame As if that every one from whence they came Had meant to put his whole wit in a jest, And resolved to live a fool the rest Of his dull life."

"Mortality, behold and fear! What a change of flesh is here! Think how many royal bones Sleep within this heap of stones: Here they lie, had realms and lands, Who now want strength to stir their hands"

"Lovers lie around in it Broken glass is found in it Grass I like that stuff"

"She's private to herself and best of knowledge Whom she'll make so happy as to sigh for."

"Nose, nose, jolly red nose, And who gave thee that jolly red nose? Nutmegs and ginger, cinammon and cloves; And they gave me this jolly red nose."

"Here are some happy English soldiers. They are going to make the Irish happy."

"May I borrow your wheelbarrow? — I didn't lay down my life in World War II so that you could borrow my wheelbarrow"

"Beauty sat bathing by a spring"

"Into a slumber then I fell, When fond imagination Seemed to see, but could not tell Her feature or her fashion."

"At a later meeting, I got to chat up Edgar Wallace. He was very pudgy and very British. Always eating sweets. Very rotund. Sweated profusely in the California warmth. At first, he seemed to think my name was Kay Fay! Which gave us all a laugh. And then, ten days later, he caught pneumonia from all that sweating and was soon dead. Merian ditched most of his script and went with a new one by James Creelman and Ruth Schoedsak [sic]."

"Twas Beauty that killed the beast!"

"Wallace is for modern London what the Arabian Nights were for arab civilization."

"Dreamin' of thee! Dreamin' of thee!"

"I never did believe in the equality of the sexes, but no girl is the weaker vessel if she gets first grip of the kitchen poker."

"The day Mr. Reeder arrived at the Public Prosecutors' Office was indeed a day of fate for Mr. Lambton Green, Branch manager of the London Scottish and Midland Bank."

"Lord Byron, in response to Lady Mary Montague's line 'And we meet, with champagne and a chicken at last' (from "The Lover: A Ballad"), reported in Letters and Journals of Lord Byron: with Notices of his Life, ed. Thomas Moore (Paris: A. and W. Gaglinani, 1830), p. 391"

"Satire should, like a polished razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen."

"But the fruit that can fall without shaking Indeed is too mellow for me."

"What say you to such a supper with such a woman? ... Is not her 'champagne and chicken' worth a forest or two? Is it not poetry?"

"Her uncle drove a taxi which he had purchased on the 'never never' system. You pay $80 down and more than you can afford for the rest of your life."

"Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet; In short, my deary, kiss me, and be quiet."

"What is a highbrow? He is a man who has found something more interesting than women."

"Cease, fond shepherd! Cease desiring What you never must enjoy; She derides your vain aspiring, She, to all your sex is coy.Cunning Damon once pursued her, Yet she never would incline; Strephon too, as vainly wooed her, Though his flocks are more than thine.At Diana’s shrine, aloud, By the zone around her waist, Thrice she bowed, and thrice she vowed, Like the Goddess, to be chaste."

"Let this great maxim be my virtue’s guide,— In part she is to blame that has been tried: He comes too near that comes to be denied."

"Though I never get possession, ’Tis a pleasure to adore; Hope, the wretch’s only blessing, May, in time, procure me more.Constant courtship may obtain her, Where both wealth and merit fail; And the lucky minute gain her— Fate and fancy must prevail.At Diana’s shrine, aloud, By the bow and by the quiver, Thrice she bowed, and thrice she vowed, Once to love—and that forever."

"Good madam, when ladies are willing, A man must needs look like a fool; For me I would not give a shilling For one who would love out of rule.You should leave us to guess by your blushing, And not speak the matter so plain; ’Tis our’s to write and be pushing, ’Tis yours to affect disdain.That you’re in a terrible taking, By all these sweet oglings I see, But the fruit that can fall without shaking, Indeed is too mellow for me."

"Civility costs nothing and buys everything."

"Thou silver deity of secret night, Direct my footsteps through the woodland shade; Thou conscious witness of unknown delight, The Lover’s guardian, and the Muse’s aid!By thy pale beams I solitary rove, To thee my tender grief confide; Serenely sweet you gild the silent grove, My friend, my goddess, and my guide.E’en thee, fair queen, from thy amazing height, The charms of young Endymion drew; Veil’d with the mantle of concealing night; With all thy greatness and thy coldness too."

"For a soldier I listed, to grow great in fame. And be shot at for sixpence a day."

"There ’s a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft, To keep watch for the life of poor Jack."

"Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle? He was all for love, and a little for the bottle."

"His form was of the manliest beauty, His heart was kind and soft; Faithful below he did his duty, But now he ’s gone aloft."

"Spanking Jack was so comely, so pleasant, so jolly, Though winds blew great guns, still he ’d whistle and sing; Jack loved his friend, and was true to his Molly, And if honour gives greatness, was great as a king."

"O, saw ye the lass wi’ the bonnie blue een? Her smile is the sweetest that ever was seen, Her cheek like the rose is, but fresher, I ween, She ’s the loveliest lassie that trips on the green."

"His profession made him rich and he made his profession respectable."