First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Luis Guzmán as Mexican cop"
"Ken Marino as Todd"
"Emma Roberts as Casey Mathis Miller"
"Will Poulter as Kenny Rossmore Miller"
"Jason Sudeikis as David Clark Miller"
"Ed Helms as Brad Gurdlinger"
"Nick Offerman as Don Fitzgerald"
"Karuna Sun as Stripper/Pole Dancer"
"Jennifer Aniston as Sarah "Rose" O'Reilly Miller"
"[Firework flies up into the sky and pops] There we go. You fucking happy? Come on."
"Kate Winslet as Nancy Cowan"
"Christoph Waltz as Alan Cowan"
"John C. Reilly as Michael Longstreet"
"Elvis Polanski as Zachary Cowan"
"Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule has been unchallenged since time immemorial."
"I've got a John Wayne idea of manhood, too. What is it he had? A Colt .45. Something that empties a room. Any man that doesn't have those loner vibes just doesn't come off as having any substance."
"Eliot Berger as Ethan Longstreet"
"Jodie Foster as Penelope Longstreet"
"Morally, you're supposed to overcome your impulses, but there are times you don't want to overcome them."
"[to Penelope] I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. It made me want to go out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster."
"Keep on stroking your own ego. It's beautiful."
"Roman Polanski as a neighbor (uncredited cameo)"
"My life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. Henry Fitz-Empress, first Plantagenet, a king at 21, the ablest soldier of an able time. He led men well, he cared for justice when he could and ruled, for 30 years, a state as great as Charlemagne's. He married out of love, a woman out of legend. Not in Alexandria, or Rome, or Camelot has there been such a queen. She bore him many children... but no sons. King Henry had no sons. He had three whiskered things but he disowned them. [to his sons] You're not mine! We're not connected! I deny you! None of you will get my Kingdom, I leave you nothing and I wish you plague! May all your children breach and die! [he storms out the corridor, turns and looks back] My boys are gone. I've lost my boys. [looks skyward] You dare to damn me, do you? Well, I damn you back! GODDAMN YOU! [in tears] My boys are gone. I've lost my boys. Oh, Jesus, all my boys..."
"[to her sons] Oh, my piglets, we are the origins of war, not history's forces, nor the times, nor justice, nor the lack of it, nor causes, nor religions, nor ideas, nor kinds of government, nor any other thing. We are the killers. We breed wars. We carry it like syphilis inside. Dead bodies rot in field and stream because the living ones are rotten. For the love of God, can't we love one another just a little? That's how peace begins. We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities, my children. We could change the world."
"I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled."
"[of Henry] He had a mind like Aristotle and a form like mortal sin."
"Hush dear, mother's fighting."
"[to her jewelry] I'd hang you from the nipples, but you'd shock the children."
"O. Z. Whitehead - Hugh de Puiset, the Bishop of Durham"
"Kenneth Ives - Queen Eleanor's guard"
"Jane Merrow - Alais"
"Nigel Stock - Captain William Marshall"
"Katharine Hepburn - Queen Eleanor"
"Anthony Hopkins - Richard the Lionheart"
"Peter O'Toole - King Henry II"
"John Castle - Geoffrey"
"So, the royal corkscrew finds me twisted?"
"I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. [smiles] We're a knowledgeable family."
"Nigel Terry - John"
"Kings, queens, knights everywhere you look and I'm the only pawn. I haven't got a thing to lose - that makes me dangerous."
"[to Henry, cruelly] I wonder... do you ever wonder... if I slept with your father."
"[Gazing into a mirror] My, what a lovely girl. How could her king have left her?"
"I'm locked up with my sons... what mother doesn't dream of that?"
"You're so deceitful you can't ask for water when you're thirsty. We could tangle spiders in the webs you weave."
"Timothy Dalton - King Philip II"
"I found out the way your mind works and the kind of man you are. I know your plans and expectations - you've burbled every bit of strategy you've got. I know exactly what you will do, and exactly what you won't, and I've told you exactly nothing. To these aged eyes, boy, that's what winning looks like!"
"What shall we hang — the holly, or each other?"
"I'm vilifying you, for God's sake — pay attention!"
"When the king is off his arse, nobody sleeps!"
"In my time I've known contessas, milkmaids, courtesans and novices, whores, gypsies, jades, and little boys, but nowhere in God's western world have I found anyone to love but you."