"Life is brief, fall in love, maidens... Before the crimson bloom fades from your lips... Before the tides of passion cools within you... For those of you who know no tomorrow... Life is brief, fall in love, maidens... Before our raven tresses begin to fade... Before the flames in your hearts flicker and die... For those to whom today will never return..."

"I have less than a year to live. When I found that out... somehow I was drawn to you. Once when I was a child, I almost drowned. It's just like that feeling. Darkness everywhere, and nothing for me to hold onto, no matter how hard I try. There's just you."

"Kamatari Fujiwara - Sub-Section Chief Ono"

"Miki Odagiri - Toyo Odagiri, employee"

"Bokuzen Hidari - Ohara"

"Minoru Chiaki - Noguchi"

"Haruo Tanaka - Sakai"

"Shinichi Himori - Kimura"

"This shit life.... you must chuck some things. You must chuck them in this shit life."

"That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing."

"Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life."

"I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am, the weather man."

"I mean, I'll bet no one ever threw a pie at, like Harriet Tubman, the founder of the Underground railroad. I'll bet you a million fucking dollars."

"The other thing that gets to people, that leads to pies, I guess are these catch phrases we're required to use to single the program out. It gets under people's skin. Spritz Nipper. But the whole thing about all of it, all the getting hit with stuff, the whole thing is, who gets hit with a fucking pie, anyway? Did anyone ever throw a pie at Thomas Jefferson? Or Buzz Aldrin? I doubt it. But this is like the ninth time I got--- [pause] clowns get hit with pies."

"Here's the thing: if you want your father to think you're not a silly fuck, don't slap a guy across the face with a glove, because if you do that, that's what he will think. Unless you're a nobleman or something in the nineteenth century. Which I am not."

"[Thinking, while looking at a woman's butt while waiting to cross the street] Man, I'd like to put my face in there. Right in there. Tartar sauce. My hips are cold. Tartar sauce. That's when you know it's cold. I like eating pussy. Tartar sauce. A lot of guys don't. Well maybe they do. Maybe that's just black guys. Tartar sauce. What happened to the guy who was trying to fly around the world in a balloon? Did he make it? I should put some espionage or stolen plutonium in my novel. Tartar sauce. Spice it up. Neil Young. Fuck, it's cold. Neil Young. Why am I thinking about Neil Young? Neil Diamond. Neil... There's not a lot of famous Neils. Is this Wednesday? I wish I had two dicks. I thought the whole family was going to learn Spanish together this year. That never really happened. I haven't had a Spanish omelette in a long time. Here we go."

"Tom Skilling - WGN Assistant Director"

"Judith McConnell - Lauren"

"Gil Bellows - Don Bowden"

"Michael Rispoli - Russ"

"Gemmenne de la Peña - Shelly Spritzel"

"The first time I was struck with something, it was a chicken breast from Kenny Rogers. I was standing next to a garbage pail. I thought it might've been an accident, that they were throwing it out. The second time, it hit me square on the chin, a soft taco. Then, pop. A falafel. McNuggets. Always fast food. Fast food. Shit people would rather throw out than finish. It's easy. It tastes all right, but it doesn't really provide you any nourishment. [pause] I'm fast food."

"Nicholas Hoult - Mike Spritzel"

"Hope Davis - Noreen"

"Michael Caine - Robert Spritzel"

"Nicolas Cage - Dave Spritz"

"Dave Spritz is about to take his best shot. At life."

"...bring an umbrella."

"In life, accuracy counts."

"Noreen: [reading Dave's note about her from their group session] "Throughout marriage, BJs lacked enthusiasm. Had difference of opinion over how important that was. I thought very." You know what, Dave? You want to know why my BJs lacked enthusiasm? I hated you."

"Domenic Bove – Tim Ribbon"

"Joe Nunez – Driver Who Hits Chris"

"Cecil Williams – Reverend Williams"

"Takayo Fischer – Mrs. Chu"

"Kurt Fuller – Walter Ribbon"

"Dan Castellaneta – Alan Frakesh"

"James Karen – Martin Frohm"

"Thandie Newton – Linda"

"Brian Howe – Jay Twistle"

"Jaden Smith – Christopher"

"Will Smith – Chris Gardner"

"The important thing about that freedom train, is it's got to climb mountains. We ALL have to climb mountains, you know. Mountains that go way up high, and mountains that go deep and low. Yes, we know what those mountains are here at Glide. We sing about them."

"Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "No thanks, God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said "No thanks, God will save me", then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, "God, why didn't you save me?" and God said "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!""

"[To a man with a sports car] I just have two questions for you: What do you do, and how do you do it?"

"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking: How did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it, no matter what. How did he know that?"

"The memories. The madness. The music... The movie."

"Pink Floyd The Wall. Now the film."

"There were a number of different influences, some literary. Graham Swift’s novel Waterland [1983] was a book we had to read in school. It has multiple timelines, and the way it cuts between them and how effective that was, combining history with the present. I happened to read that around about the same time as I watched Alan Parker’s Pink Floyd: The Wall [1982], which is a truly remarkable, impressionistic film. Like, what the fuck is that movie? It’s quite marvellous. The way he uses the production design, the different timelines, the intermingling of memory, dream, things like that, it was very influential on me. And the cinema of Nicolas Roeg, in particular, the editing rhythms and the way he used things other than narrative and chronological progression, that all started to click with me."

"Pink's Manager: He's an artist! [Stuffs cash into hotel manager's pockets, then begins slapping Pink] He's coming around! There, you see! How do you feel? [Directs roadies as they dress the barely-conscious Pink and drag him out of hotel room, down the hall, and into a limousine, which will take him to the concert hall]."