"(last words) YES!!! I tried to protect you. All these years, I've sacrificed for you. But what would you understand of sacrifice, duty, or honor? You "loved" her. Well, damn you! Damn you all to HELL!!!"

"(opening line) Haven't you? (about the fireplace when Sarah says she hasn't seen anything like it)"

"(to Jim) Tell me, Mr Evers... do you believe in... ghosts?"

"Now, for the last time, good night, Mr. Evers."

"(to Jim) May I confide in you? The master is not well. He must leave this house, Mr. Evers, he must move on."

"(about his job as a butler) Attending to every detail. Understanding priorities. And, above all, knowing one's place!"

"Elizabeth. Hers is the story that haunts these halls."

"No, Mr. Evers, I am a rational man."

"You're a real cold dude."

"(last lines) Hey, guys, keep it down!"

"The guy is dead, he wants to get jiggy with my wife; of course I'm upset!"

"(reading Elizabeth's letter) "Yes, my dear heart, I will marry you. I will love you for all eternity, and tonight at last, we will be together. I do. Forever yours, Elizabeth.""

"I am Ramsley."

"This mansion has waited long for its shroud of darkness to be lifted."

"Yeah, how do we get out of here?"

"The storm has flooded the road. There will be no leaving the mansion tonight!"

"If you truly love someone, they never leave you."

"Allan Trautman - Fred Bedderhead (puppeteer)"

"(opening line) It's fantastic isn't it. Sometimes, when you step into a house, you know straight away whether its good."

"(catchphrase) Hello, Jim Evers, of Evers & Evers Real Estate?"

"Michelan Sisti - Ted Bedderhead (puppeteer)"

"If people see you're scared, they'll use it against you - look, I'm your dad, and I'm not scared!?"

"Brian La Rosa - Ted Bedderhead (suit performer)"

"Misty Rosas - Beary Barrington (suit performer)"

"If you want to kill me, kill me. But when I come round the Other Side, I'll just be whippin' your ass for all eternity; so maybe you should read this before you stab somebody!"

"Kaepan Shaw - Fred Bedderhead (suit performer)"

"Bruce Lanoil - Henry Dixon Taylor (puppeteer)"

"Jody St. Michael - Tennessee O'Neal (suit performer)"

"Denise Cheshire - Trixie St. Claire (suit performer)"

"Tony Sabin Prince - Zeb Zoober (suit performer)"

"Toby Huss as Tennessee O'Neal"

"Kevin Michael Richardson as Henry Dixon Taylor"

"Stephen Root as Zeb Zoober"

"Brad Garrett as Fred Bedderhead"

"Candy Ford as Trixie St. Claire"

"Bonnie Raitt as Trixie St. Claire (singing voice)"

"James Gammon as Big Al"

"John Alexander - Big Al (suit performer)"

"Queen Latifah as "Cha Cha""

"Elizabeth Daily as Beary Barrington (singing voice)"

"Diedrich Bader as Ted Bedderhead"

"John Hiatt as Himself"

"Elton John as Himself"

"Julianne Buescher - Tennessee O'Neal (puppeteer)"

"Don Henley as Himself"

"John Hiatt as Ted Bedderhead (singing voice)"

"Alex Rocco as Rip Holland"

"Meagen Fay as Mrs. Norma Barrington"