"Tea! Thou soft, thou sober, sage, and venerable liquid, thou innocent pretence for bringing the wicked of both sexes together in a morning; thou female tongue-running, smile-smoothing, heart- opening, wink-tipping cordial, to whose glorious insipidity I owe the happiest moment of my life, let me fall prostrate thus, and … adore thee."

"Oh, how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring!"

"Old houses mended, Cost little less than new before they're ended."

"I don't see it."

"This business will never hold water."

"Our hours in love have wings; in absence, crutches."

"Words are but empty thanks."

"Possession is eleven points in the law."

"We shall find no fiend in hell can match the fury of a disappointed woman,—scorned, slighted, dismissed without a parting pang."

"Prithee don’t screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners."

"As good be out of the world as out of the fashion."

"Heaven-gates are not so highly arched As princes' palaces; they that enter there Must go upon their knees."

"I know death hath ten thousand several doors For men to take their exits."

"Of what is't fools make such vain keeping? Sin their conception, their birth, weeping: Their life, a general mist of error, Their death, a hideous storm of terror."

"Glories, like glowworms, afar off shine bright, But looked to near have neither heat nor light."

"Prosperity doth bewitch men, seeming clear; But seas do laugh, show white, when rocks are near."

"But keep the wolf far thence, that's foe to men, For with his nails he'll dig them up again."

"Call for the robin redbreast and the wren, Since o'er shady groves they hover, And with leaves and flowers do cover The friendless bodies of unburied men."

"Glories, like glow-worms, afar off shine bright, But look'd too near have neither heat nor light."

"Condemn you me for that the duke did love me? So may you blame some fair and crystal river For that some melancholic, distracted man Hath drown'd himself in 't."

"'T is just like a summer bird-cage in a garden,—the birds that are without despair to get in, and the birds that are within despair and are in a consumption for fear they shall never get out."

"I dare truly and boldly say, that one years exercise therein to ingenious spirits, under able Masters, will produce more real and true fruit, than the studying Aristotelian Philosophy hath brought forth in many centuries. O that the Schools therefore would leave their idle, and fruitless speculations, and not be too proud to put their hands to the coals and furnace, where they might find ocular experiments to confute their fopperies, and produce effects that would be beneficial to all posterities."

"Vain the ambition of kings Who seek by trophies and dead things To leave a living name behind, And weave but nets to catch the wind."

"I saw him going the way of all flesh."

"Is not old wine wholesomest, old pippins toothsomest, old wood burn brightest, old linen wash whitest? Old soldiers, sweethearts, are surest, and old lovers are soundest."

"Webster is not concerned with humanity. He is the poet of bile and brainstorm, the sweet singer of apoplexy; ideally, one feels, he would have had all his characters drowned in a sea of cold sweat. His muse drew nourishment from Bedlam, and might, a few centuries later, have done the same from Belsen."

"Webster was much possessed by death And saw the skull beneath the skin."

"Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, Like diamonds, we are cut with our own dust."

"Cover her face; mine eyes dazzle: she died young."

"Insanity is a very high art form. If everyone was insane, I wouldn’t be here!"

"I feel proud to have turned that down. I wish I could remember what it was. Let’s say Hamlet. Yeah, I turned down Hamlet. Well who fucking wouldn’t? I mean how many gags are there in that?"

"I can be gloriously stupid, but if it helps to divert peoples attentions from the grimness of life, I’m happy."

"[Ade Edmondson]’s a good and loyal friend. I adore him. It’s like a marriage. We chose each other in ’75 and we’ve been together ever since."

"I once walked to school in my underpants and a soggy shoe because my shoe flew off into the river when I tried kicking a ball. My brother retrieved it, but then demanded my trousers, because his were soaked."

"Luckily, I was spared bullying, although one kid at school, Dobson, always used to tease me about my surname. He’d say: “Look, it’s Fe-Mayall!” One time he wouldn’t stop and I thought “I’m going to have to hit him”. So I belted him and he lost his two front teeth, broke his nose and ended up in hospital. I was never picked on again after that!"

"Shocked & saddened that a comedy hero is gone; for those who grew up on The Young Ones, Rik Mayall was one of funniest performers ever."

"It is a terrible loss, he was true pioneer and an incredible force. His peers and him were as important to comedy as the Sex Pistols were to music. For me, The Young Ones will always be his signature performance. Rick was just a character for the ages."

"Rik Mayall is putrid – absolutely vile. He thinks nose-picking is funny and farting and all that. He is the arsehole of British comedy."

"A young girl, stricken with terminal cancer, once asked Rik Mayall for an autograph. He wrote: "Young Ones are never afraid.""

"Very, very sad to learn of Rik Mayall's passing. Frank Oz and I saw him and Adrian Edmondson at the Comic Strip while I was in pre-production on An American Werewolf in London and they were extraordinary. He did not believe me at first when afterwards I offered him a part. I just remember how excited Rik was to be in a movie and how good he was even in such a small role. It was no surprise to me he went on to The Young Ones and a brilliant career. A great loss of a truly gifted man."

"Very sad to hear of the passing of Rik Mayall. Far too young. A very funny and talented man."

"I've never stopped missing Rik Mayall but thankful for his legacy of incomparable comedy!"

"RIP Rik Mayall. An icon of modern British comedy."

"Simply distraught to hear of the death of Rik Mayall. An authentic comedy genius and a prince among men."

"I owe him so much. He changed my life utterly when he asked me to co-write The Young Ones with him, and he was with me on the day I met my wife... He always made me cry with laughter. Now he's just made me cry."

"There were times when Rik and I were writing together when we almost died laughing. They were some of the most carefree stupid days I ever had, and I feel privileged to have shared them with him. And now he's died for real. Without me. Selfish bastard."

"I was brought up to be a good boy and proud of myself so I suppress all the things about me that are bad."

"He was a force of nature. His appetite was not blunted, and his enthusiasm and his ambition were huge. He often asked me: ‘What’s my motivation for this scene?’ ‘Why am I sitting on your toilet having a shit?’ was a question he genuinely asked me, and I had to say: ‘It’s … fun? There’s nothing deeper than that, I’m sorry’."