"(mans turret) A: I control the tools of your destruction. B: I can't make you like me, but I can make you stuffer! C: I'm all charged up now! D: I'm coming to get you! E: Stay still so I can punish you!"

"(vs. Pumpkin) Aw, I remember when these guys liked me."

"(vs. Chicken) Uh oh! I think they crossed the road To kick my butt!"

"(vs. Clown) Hurting clowns fills the hole in my heart!"

"(vs. Lord Pain) Oh, you're a pain in my neck."

"(vs. Viking) Hey, you're not thor! But you're gonna be plenty sore after your beating!"

"(vs. Fred) Tickle, tickle!"

"(vs. Hoss) That's what you get for picking on the headless!"

"(vs. Dracula) I got some killer pranks for ya!"

"(vs. Nergal) Nergal? More like Nerd-gal!"

"(vs. Irwin (it’s just a custom quote since he doesn’t have any quote)) You made me look like a fool nerd!"

"(vs. Mogar) Oh, goodness! I thought I was done fighting clowns!"

"(vs. Nergal Jr.) You change into anything besides a loser?"

"(vs. Eris) The joke's on you, Eris!"

"(mans turret) A: I'm gonna "Jack" this turret! Get it? (laughs) B: This will be your last laugh! (laughs) C: This is gonna be funny! D: In Russia the pumpkin smashes you!"

"(vs. Billy) You don't know "Jack", little boy. (laughs)"

"(vs. Mandy) Here. Let me turn that frown UPSIDE DOWN!"

"(after finisher move) A: See ya! B: Fore! C: Good-bye! D: Get outta here! E: Yah!"

"(vs. Boogey) I'm gonna stick this boogey to the bottom of my shoe!"

"(on fire) Oh, oh! Spicy, spicy hot!"

"(damage) A: Ouch! B: Ow! C: He he. D: Doop! E: Dey!"

"(vs. Grim) Feeling "Grim"? Try a punch in the face!"

"(vs. The Brain-Eating Meteor) Meteor don't be telling Dracula what to do! Dracula was born knowing what to do!"

"(ready to battle) Look out, Mac! Jack is back!"

"(after being selected) Everyone's entitled to one good laugh!"

"(vs. Giant Pumpkin) Big pumpkin's ain't the boss of Dracula! Dracula grown man! Dracula do what he want!"

"(vs. Irwin) I must break you, for the master!"

"(vs. Clown) Laughing is for sissies. Dracula like to hear clowns screamin'!"

"(vs. Pumpkin) Dracula ain't too old to kick your butt!"

"(vs. Olaf the Viking) Vampires hate vikings, that's a fact!"

"(wins) Have a nice trip, I take one every fall! (laughs)"

"(vs. Skarr) Dracula go bite you in the eye, then he gonna steal yo' hat!"

"(vs. Lord Pain/Nergaling) Ain't nobody tell Dracula what to do!"

"(vs. Skarr) You're a joke! (laughs)"

"(vs. Chicken) Dracula likes his chicken tenderized."

"(performing Mojo Meltdown) Wanna see something really funny? (Picks up pumpkin bomb from sack, throws it at opponents, opponents are blown up, Jack laughs)"

"(vs. Pumpkin) This is why I don't like plants."

"(vs. Irwin) Dracula need yo' glasses. Dracula not seeing so goo no more."

"(vs. Mogar) Dracula hate rock music! Dracula's a soul man!"

"(vs. Eris) Dracula not gonna take a bite out of an apple! He gonna take a bite out of you!"

"(vs. Grim) Hey "Skeleton Man", Dracula's teeth is sharper than yo' stick thing!"

"(on fire) Something's cookin'. Smells good!"

"(vs. Billy) Dracula wanna bite yo' nose!"

"(vs. Nergal) Dracula gonna send you back to the center of the earth!"

"(vs. Mandy) Dracula see ya on the flip side!"

"(wins) Hah! Dracula gonna keep winning all day long!"

"(Man’s Turret) Dracula usually don need shooters, but he’ll use it!"