Illustrators

"koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog, wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers. No more. i will suplex that beast,"

"and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad."

"donlad trump reportedly says that normal type pokemon are a waste of time. they're just dirty birds & rats who have no right being a pokemon"

"issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them""

"do not be afraid to talk to that lonely boy on the train ... with the rosy red cheeks, sun glasses & big cigar... he just mmight be... angel"

"drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,"

"THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree"

"joke's on you; i actually love being body slammed by one dozen perfect wrestlers. and my mouth isn't filled with bloodm, it's victory wine"

"[man leans into doorway of WTC bathroom] "Hey, you gotta finish up in there. 9/11 is happening." "Alright. Just a sec.""

"i often disagree with DigimonOtis, but his efforts to keep Sharia Law out of the donkey kong 64 wiki are much needed in this wolrd of danger"

"the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up"

"im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys."

"blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin"

"DOCTOR: you cant keep doing this to yourself. being The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you must stop posting with honor ME: No,"

"i hate i t when girls think im proposing whenever i take the knee at them in protest"

"getting pissed off at the idea of someone going on to wiki pedia and changing the name of the japanese suicide forest to "Warios Woods""

"awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far"

"if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war"

"big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck"

"love when i lose aobut 100 followers immediately after making a beautiful post. the weak shriveling up into dust. Thats called darwin"

"its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911"

"Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying"

""This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit"

"my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl"

"it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again"

"here's a list of touhou girls i want to have as a Mom someday & here is a copy of that list in case you accidentally throw it in the gabarge"

"so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

"shitting on a Towel"

"strongest blade in the world, however, it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian ."

"IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL"

"who cares. pick up a foot ball"

"i think it would be fucking stupid to be a fat ass caterpillar and have your entire body be made out of weak points"

"who the fuck is scraeming 'LOG OFF' at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off"

"the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying"

"the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron""

"playing the worlds most normal sized violin"

"THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED"

"oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for my sick uncle... *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYE* who's a Model by the way,"

"fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this"

""Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,"

"see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office"

"epic ; supreme court rules nabisco is legally allowed to label their products as "Homemade" after forcing the employees to live at the factory"

"'im not owned! im not owned!!', i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob"

"if you ask me many of Americans have been wearing the mask even before from covid 19. the mask i refer to is of course the clown's mask."

"im little jesica. im dying because of obamas help care bill. im on my death bed and the doctor is ignoring me because my dady works hard"

"Welcome to the citadel of eternal wisdom. Behold, this crystal contains the sum of all human knowledge -- Except Rap And Country"

"another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it"

"thinking about a "Cock Ring" for the neck that strangles all the blood into your brain and gives you what is essentially a mental erection"

"icant come to work today.. on account of JERRY DUTY *SHoves every seinfeld disk into dvd player at once*"

"how do i get cowboy paint off a dog ."