First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"This is my Peter - uh, my friend Peter. We just met at the, uh, intersexual... homosection... INTERSECTION!"
"Class: so, uh, where were we? Romantic poetry. Shakespeare. Talented. English. Dead."
"Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett"
"Son of a bitchin', BOB!"
"Hello, my name is Bob. Would you knock me out, please?"
"[To the Guttmans, who saw him push Bob into the lake] WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?! I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BUY THIS HOUSE!"
"Bob (husband)"
"Lily (Leo's sister)"
"Siggy (son)"
"Anna (daughter)"
"Fay (wife)"
"Susan Willis - Mrs. Guttman"
"Tom Aldredge - Mr. Guttman"
"Kathryn Erbe - Anna Marvin"
"Charlie Korsmo - Sigmund 'Siggy' Marvin"
"Julie Hagerty - Fay Marvin"
"Richard Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin"
"Bill Murray - Bob Wiley"
"Bob's a special kind of friend. The kind that drives you crazy!"
"[Telling another joke to the hospital staff] Roses are red, violets are blue; I'm a schizophrenic...and so am I. [staff laugh]"
"[Telling the hospital staff therapy jokes] So the psychiatrist has a patient. He draws a circle and says, "What do you think of when you see this?" He says "Sex." [The staff laugh.] That's not the joke yet, wait a second. He draws a picture of a tree and says "What do you think of that one when you see it?" He says "Sex." All right, then he draws a picture of a car, a house: "Sex. Sex. Sex." The doctor says, "You know you're obsessed with sex." And the patient says "Well you're the one drawing all the dirty pictures." [The staff laugh.]"