First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"I'm so Chinese I'm an econ professor with lactose intolerance."
"Patricia French as Catherine"
"Elizabeth Keener as Carmen"
"Robert Pralgo as Ben"
"Rhoda Griffis as Val"
"Heather Holliday Richmond as Sales Clerk"
"Diane Neal as Bonnie"
"Joey Lawrence as Vince"
"Jason MacDonald as David"
"Girls love a guy that's been left at the altar. So I'll definitely be seeing some sympathy boom-chicka-wa-wa!"
"Steve: How is he at the horizontal hokey-pokey?"
"Pants: This is the first time I ransacked a place and left it cleaner than I found it."
"Steve Schirripa as Monkey"
"I'm so looking forward to our divorce."
"[opening a moving box] Be the coffeemaker! Be the coffemaker!"
"Wow. Talk about commitment issues. You're getting cold feet over our pretend wedding."
"Burgess Jenkins as Steve"
"We're holding a wedding, not a tailgate party, Vince."
"Nicole Tubiola as Courtney"
"I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart."
"Reverend Jim: I've been this job long enough to know when a couple is getting married for the wrong reasons. Some, they're in love with an idealized version of the person they are marrying. Others feel that they're simply too old to be single anymore. And some, well, some just want all the gifts."
"Melissa Joan Hart as Jennifer"
"Ellie (wife)"
"Tom Irish — Ben Banks"
"Paul Harvey — Reverend Galsworthy"
"Kay (daughter)"
"Moroni Olsen — Herbert Dunstan"
"Leo G. Carroll — Mr. Massoula"
"Billie Burke — Doris Dunstan"
"Marietta Canty — Delilah"
"Elizabeth Taylor — Kay Dunstan"
"Don Taylor — Buckley Dunstan"
"Russ Tamblyn — Tommy Banks"
"Buckley Dunstan (son-in-law)"
"The Bride gets the THRILLS! Father gets the BILLS!"
"Spencer Tracy — Stanley T. Banks"
"Right then I knew we'd lost her. She'll always love us of course, but not in the old way. From now on her love will be handed out like a farmer's wife tossing scraps to the family rooster."
"Joan Bennett — Ellie Banks"
"I would like to say a few words about weddings. I've just been through one. Not my own. My daughter's. Someday in the far future I may be able to remember it with tender indulgence, but not now. I always used to think that marriages were a simple affair. Boy meets girl. Fall in love. They get married. Have babies. Eventually the babies grow up and meet other babies. They fall in love. Get married. Have babies. And so on and on and on. Looked at that way, it's not only simple, it's downright monotonous. But I was wrong. I figured without the wedding."
"Tommy (son)"
"Enid Graham - Mrs. Volger"
"Halley Feiffer - Maisy Koosman"
"Ciarán Hinds - Dick Koosman"
"Seth Barrish - Toby"
"Jack Black - Malcolm"
"John Turturro - Jim"
"Michael Cullen - Mr. Volger"
"Zane Pais - Claude"
"I haven't had that thing yet, where you realize that you're not the most important person in the world."
"What was it about Dad that had us fucking so many guys?"