"When you started school, the country was an inspiring, uplifting drama. You are graduating into a tragic, dumbass comedy. My advice is to lock the [university’s] Van Wickle gates and stay here."

"The administration’s mean-spiritedness towards our art and entertainment is an expression of their mean-spirited attitude about people who want that art and entertainment, people who also want and deserve decent wages, a fair tax system, a safe environment, education for their children and healthcare for all."

"I don’t know, it’s crazy that people like Donald Trump ... he shouldn’t even be where he is, so God help us. What he’s been saying is really totally crazy, ridiculous ... he is totally nuts. But I think now they are really starting to push back, the media ... finally they are starting to say, ‘come on Donald, this is ridiculous, this is nuts, this is insane."

"These movies are like my children, except you can't remake my children in 3D to push up the grosses."

"I’m just so incensed by this guy. He’s conning people every day. It’s a blight on our country. We have a lot of making-up to do to earn back people’s trust, and to get back on track where certain allies will trust us enough to know that we won’t allow an idiot to get in office again."

"I’m not really political but I saw when [Trump] would go to those rallies and he’d say, ‘I want to get this person and punch him in the face,’ and I’d think, how dare this person have this kind of a rally? How dare you do that! And I think about [Rupert] Murdoch, and what he did to this country. He’s an immigrant who became a citizen, and look what he contributed? Look what this guy did? It’s disgraceful—beyond disgraceful, beyond cynical. Fox News, it’s all about money and power. At what cost? And you’re not even an American. You’re someone who wanted to be an American, and this is what you gave us?"

"The only other president who served a third term was Roosevelt because he was in a war, and this fool would go and start something. This was what Marty Scorsese was saying, and I said, ‘Marty, I never thought of that. I never thought he’d go for a third term if there was a war or something. Trump joked about being ‘president for life’ with [Chinese president Xi Jinping] and so-on, he’ll pardon anybody, he’ll do anything. The day after he was elected, I went on a TV show and said I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and say that I hope he won’t be as bad as I think he will be, but he’s turned out to be a lot worse."

"I’m worried because if he gets re-elected, it’s gonna be very, very bad—very bad on a lot of levels. We already have a lot of reparations, if you will—repairs—to do to the damage that he’s already done, and he has to be gotten out. He’s going to be history at one point, though he’d love to be president for life. He jokes about it. I think that if he became president for a second term he’d try to have a third term, and let smarter people manipulate it into getting us into some kind of altercation: a war."

"Oh, I can’t wait to see him in jail. I don’t want him to die, I want him to go to jail."

"It’s a resentment of people [who are] writing about what we see is obvious gangsterism. They don’t like that, so they say: ‘Fuck you, we’re going to teach you people.’ And they have to know they’re going to be taught … they can’t get away with bullying us – people who have common sense and see what is happening in this world, and in this country. They cannot do it. It’s a shame, it’s a shame that [the Republicans] behave so badly.”"

"Human beings exist that have integrity, that know how to keep their mouth shut, that know the bigger picture, that don’t sell out their friends."

"Therapy is washing of the brain. You’re willing to get a facial. Wash the brain. Take it out, clean it. What doesn’t belong there, throw it away."

"I have to fight every single day to live my true life. I don't ever want to come home saying, "I should have spoken my mind. I shouldn't have let someone say something that I didn't feel was right." … [But] I have to remember that there's a balance. I'm in the entertainment business. We're here to entertain people, to make them laugh and forget."

"I never did anything according to what anyone else wanted. That's why I think I am happy. I do everything 100% — even my stupidest missteps. I know when I'm getting ready to mess up, I'm going to do it full-on."

"I now know that anything sweet, really sweet, that I have was nothing that I planned. If you don't have kids and animals, you don't truly know what real life is about."

"I know I'm not easy to deal with. I'm controlling, and I want everything orderly, and I need lists. My mind goes a mile a minute. I'm difficult on every single level. I'm aware that I can be annoying."

"I like to iron. Ironing is comfort. It's control. I'm a nutty person who likes to make sure everything is in its place. I am a big ball of high energy and organization and structure. Don't forget, I'm half-German."

"Sandra Bullock on 'Gravity' Oscar Nom: 'I've Just Gotten Better at Not Picking Crap'"

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts. You have to remember this when you find yourself at the beginning."

"Women should do a lot more fighting. I don't think it's fair that we can't get into a good bar fight once in a while. We'd get out a lot of stuff we're supposed to repress."

"I know this in no way alleviates the enormous amounts of pain and loss experienced by those who have suffered from the tsunami, but I hope it can make a difference."

"“Once you’re a parent, you can’t see through different eyes other than that of a parent,”"

"“What do I want to say to little girls that I know? Don’t change. Be who you are.”"

"At this critical time, I am grateful to Sandra Bullock for once again demonstrating her leadership, compassion and belief in our global humanitarian mission. Sandra continues to enable our lifesaving work and is a model for personal generosity."

"Women are like ovens. We need 5 to 15 minutes to heat up."

"I've learned that success comes in a very prickly package. Whether you choose to accept it or not is up to you. It's what you choose to do with it, the people you choose to surround yourself with. Always choose people that are better than you. Always choose people that challenge yout and are smarter than you. Always be the student. Once you find yourself to be the teacher, you've lost it."

"“There’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color – nothing – no sexual orientation, that makes us better than anyone else. We’re all deserving of love.”"

"“Free is the best. Anything free is good.”"

"Does age matter? Time does“Once you’re a parent, you can’t see through different eyes other than that of a parent."

"I like Martin Scorsese as a director very much."

"Mean Streets dealt with the American Dream, according to which everybody thinks they can get rich quick, and if they can't do it by legal means then they'll do it by illegal ones."

"I don't really see a conflict between the church and movies, the sacred and the profane. Obviously, there are major differences, but I can also see great similarities between a church and a movie house. Both are places for people to come together and share a common experience. I believe there is a spirituality in films, even if it's not one which can supplant faith."

"I always tell the younger film-makers and students: Do it like the painters used to...Study the old masters. Enrich your palette. Expand the canvas. There's always so much more to learn."

"I don't think there is any difference between fantasy and reality in the way these should be approached in a film. Of course if you live that way you are clinically insane."

"Movies touch our hearts, and awaken our vision, and change the way we see things. They take us to other places. They open doors and minds. Movies are the memories of our lifetime. We need to keep them alive."

"There is no such thing as pointless violence. City of God, is that pointless violence? It's reality, it's real life, it has to do with the human condition. Being involved in Christianity and Catholicism when I was very young, you have that innocence, the teachings of Christ. Deep down you want to think that people are really good - but the reality outweighs that."

"Don't get me wrong, I love Schindler's List, but it's not like "Hey, man, let's get loaded and watch Schindler's List." - SModcast 4: Can I get a (Masturbatory) Witness"

"Americans tend to celebrate even the most mediocre or basic accomplishments... It's like weddings to me. Why is that a big deal?... Why do you have to have a big shindig where you're, like, "Look, we're doing it" and everybody applauds and throws shit in your face. - SModcast 1: Fisting Flipper"

"Look at my dick."

"There would always be a bunch of fucking grousers and nay-sayers being like "that was uncalled for.""

"They are creepy, too, man. Those puppets don't make me feel good. I'll be honest, nothing about this show makes me feel good."

"A science fiction movie? I don't know. I think I have made one already... Chasing Amy. Because you go ask any lesbian, that'll never happen. Even if, and probably especially because, the dude is Ben fucking Affleck."

""[as Tim Burton] Anyone who knows me will tell you that I would never read a comic book." Which, to me, explains fucking Batman."

"In Hollywood, you just kind of fail upwards."

"What's your name, new best friend?"

"What happened to Riggs?"

"Guy from audience: Your wife is your beard! Kevin: My wife is my beard isn't she?... Oh, sir, who was it? It was you? That was your move. 'Cause in your head you're going "I'm gonna yell out your wife is your beard and they'll laugh like they laughed at the rock guy!" And you yelled it out, you got it out there, you had the guts to do it and shit, and then I even echoed it for you just in case the cheap seats didn't hear it, and there was fucking crickets, sir."

"Sir, I just think that's it's fucking brilliant that you somehow managed to tie Chuck Norris, Chewbacca the Wookie, and Jesus Christ together."

"Ten years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other WITH each other. A decade-plus and her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick."

"God is a great concept, [but it] doesn't work"