"[about the divorce papers Melanie wants him to sign] The only reason I ain't signin’ is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothin’ better right now than to piss you off."

"[final line] Hey, Stella! Make it a slow one."

"[after leaving Andrew at the altar as a thunderstorm is approaching] Hey, y'all! If you're friends of the bride, stick around! I'm gonna go find me a groom!"

"Well for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce."

"[Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle'] "People need a passport to come down here.""

"[On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform] Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?"

"[After punching Kate] Nobody talks to my mama like that! [Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!]"

"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last."

"The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back."

"[Drunk, at the bar] Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar. [Eldon: What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?]"

"Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man."

"You dumb stubborn redneck hick."

"Dakota Fanning - Young Melanie"

"Thomas Curtis - Young Jake"

"Nathan Lee Graham - Frederick Montana"

"Rhona Mitra - Tabatha Wadmore-Smith, Melanie's best friend from New York"

"Mary Lynn Rajskub - Dorothea"

"Courtney Gains - Wade"

"Melanie Lynskey - Lurlynn, Melanie's best friend"

"Ethan Embry - Bobby Ray Bailey"

"Jean Smart - Stella Kay"

"Fred Ward - Earl Smooter"

"Mary Kay Place - Pearl Smooter"

"Candice Bergen - Mayor Kate Hennings"

"Patrick Dempsey - Andrew Hennings"

"Josh Lucas - Jake Perry"

"Reese Witherspoon - Melanie Smooter/Carmichael"

"Fall... in love."

"Sometimes What You're Looking for Is Right Where You Left It."

"Pearl: How many times does your only daughter get married? [awkward pause] Well, other than the other time."

"Andrew: You married your cousin?"

"[after Melanie punches Kate] Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!"

"Well even if he is a Yankee, at least he's sober."

"[to Kate] Careful, you just smashed the state bird of Alabama."

"You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean."

"[about a pair of handcuffs] Might wanna save those for the honeymoon! [laughs with Frederick Montana before exchanging a look]"

"Well, aren't you just a big fat liar?"

"We weren't aimin' for ya, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral."

"You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl."

"[to Melanie] Woo-oo. You look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup."

"[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful...and I'm in politics."

"There is nothing wrong with poor people. I get elected by poor people."

"What ever happened to responsible journalism?"

"[to Lurlynn] Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar. [Lurlynn: Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere.]"

"Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!"

"Stephanie Ittelson - Vegas Waitress"

"Brooke Langton - Nikki"

"Katherine Kendall - Lisa"

"Deena Martin - Christy"

"Heather Graham - Lorraine"