"Severence, if you can hear me, the highway patrol has sealed all the roads off the mountain. Santee's cornered. Can you hear me? Severence, this is Sheriff Cepeda, come in. Severence, Cepeda here."

"We got a stolen pickup, sir. Bottom of a canyon, Riverside."

"Hold it! I said stay here! Stay here! Hold your positions! He's just coming back this way!"

"Severance! Severance! This is Cepeda, we're on the mountain behind you, three or four minutes back."

"Severance, this is Cepeda. We're behind you. Are you still on the road? Severance! What is your position?"

"You wanna come, I got cars outside."

"Charles Grodin - Murray Blum"

"Stephen Root - Don Durenberger"

"Ben Kingsley - Vice-President Nance"

"Tom Dugan - Jerry"

"Faith Prince - Alice"

"Laura Linney - Randi"

"Ving Rhames - Duane Stevenson"

"She gets her calls through a goddamn barbershop. Two weeks ago, she's living in a station wagon."

"Dave Kovic was an ordinary guy who was asked to impersonate the President. When they gave him a chance to make the country better...he did."

"Kevin Kline - Dave Kovic / Bill Mitchell"

"Sigourney Weaver - Ellen Mitchell"

"In a country where anybody can become President, anybody just did."

"[singing in the shower] Hail to the chief / He's the one we all say "Hail" to. / We all say "Hail" / 'Cause he keeps himself so clean! / He's got the power, / That's why he's in the shower..."

"If you've ever seen the look on somebody's face the day they finally get a job, I've had some experience with this, they look like they could fly. And it's not about the paycheck, it's about respect, it's about looking in the mirror and knowing that you've done something valuable with your day. And if one person could start to feel this way, and then another person, and then another person, soon all these other problems may not seem so impossible. You don't really know how much you can do until you, stand up and decide to try."

"Frank Langella - Bob Alexander"

"I forgot that I was hired to do a job for you and that it was just a temp job at that. I forgot that I had two hundred and fifty million people who were paying me to make their lives a little better and I didn't live up to my part of the bargain. See, there are certain things you should expect from a President. I ought to care more about you than I do about me... I ought to care more about what's right than I do about what's popular. I ought to be willing to give this whole thing up for something I believe in."

"She's great. She's really exotic. She's a princess. She's Polynesian — well, half Polynesian, and half American. She's... Amnesian."

"Here's Santee's visitor sheet from prison."

"Kevin Dunn - Alan Reed"

"You guys are looking hard enough. You seen anything?"

"Bonnie Hunt - White House Tour Guide"

"Donald Trump as Waldo's father"

"Eric Edwards as Spanky's father"

"Whoopi Goldberg as Buckwheat's mother"

"Dan Carton as Alfalfa's father"

"Lea Thompson as Miss Roberts"

"Daryl Hannah as Miss Crabtree"

"Reba McEntire as A.J. Ferguson"

"George Wendt as Lumber store guy"

"Heather Karasek as Jane"