"You want to know something funny? I discovered the law again. You actually made me think about it. I managed to go through three years of law school without doing that."

"Hey Ray, wouldn't it be funny if I went to Harvard, you went to jail and we both ended up surrounded by crooks."

"Jeanne Tripplehorn as Abigail "Abby" McDeere"

"Karina Lombard - a girl who seduces McDeere"

"Being a tax lawyer's got nothing to do with the law. It's a game. We teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich. The IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them. It's a game..."

"Gene Hackman - Avery Tolar"

"She's got two broken ribs, a broken jaw, and a bad concussion. We're going to keep her overnight for observation."

"Dylan Walsh - Jake Lovell"

"Larry Block - Barber"

"Family takes care of Family!"

"Joey Bishop - Eddie's father"

"Reason and Family got nothing to do with each other!"

"Burt Young - Georgie"

"Madeline Kahn - Lola Hopper"

"Molly Ringwald - Betsy"

"Ally Sheedy - Connie"

"Alan Alda - Eddie Hopper"

"I'm gonna give you a little advice about life. You follow this and you won't be sorry. "Don't screw with your brains, don't think with your dick." That's from the heart."

"You pushed me through the tent? Through the tent you pushed me?"

"Joe Pesci - Oscar"

"The wedding picture doesn't always tell the whole story."

"Greg Burson as Mr. Quincy Magoo (animated form)"

"[to Stevie Dee] I'm a cop, and you're... not."

"[romantically] Oh, Oscar... go fuck yourself!"

"Malcolm McDowell as Austin Cloquet"

"Anthony LaPaglia - Stevie Dee"

"Jennifer Garner as Stacey Sampanahodrita"

"Miguel Ferrer as Ortega "The Piranha" Peru"

"I could be whatever you need. I could do anything for the woman I love. I believe in saying what you feel. You are the blood in my veins, I would walk through fire for you. I will always be available, I belong to you."

"Kelly Lynch as Luanne LeSeur/Prunella Pagliachi"

"Ernie Hudson as CIA Agent Gustav Anders"

"Stephen Tobolowsky as FBI Agent Chuck Stupak"

"Leslie Nielsen as Mr. Quincy Magoo, Jr."

"Catherine O'Hara - Gloria"

"Dealin LaValley – Waiter"

"[a monkey is seen in front of Mr. Magoo] Ugliest child I've ever seen!"

"Nick Chinlund as Bob Morgan"

"(a spider rests on Waldo's chest) I like your badge!"

"Marc Shaiman – Pianist"

"Joan Delaney – Woman interviewer"

"Matt Keeslar as Waldo Magoo"

"Fabio Lanzoni – Handsome Man"

"Edward Herrmann - Nelson Rockefeller"

"On their 16th wedding anniversary, Deborah and Nick decided to work out all their differences ...in public."