"[Referring to the end of the Iraq War] I give my word to the Iraqi people that American construction firms have arrived on the ground and will commence reincarnation immediately…"

"You must remember that Al-Qaeda therapists despise the American way of life, and everything you and I hold to be queer…"

"Today the Iraqi people will be voting — whether they are Sonnies or Chers."

"The Iraqi people can look forward to a future free of intimidation and violins."

"Former President, Bill Clitoris…"

"My fellow cabinet members, Donald Rumsfeld and Basmati Rice…"

"Abu Musab al-Safari and the Iraqi detergents are vanished."

"Yassir Crackerjack and the Polyunsaturated people."

"[After a long speech] I hope I have made myself queer."

"As a result, the North Korean leader Kim Jong-il announcified that he would be resumerating their nucular program."

"Al-Kapowwow"

"People of Britain, starey eyes, sweaty palms, receding hairline, yesterday I announced…"

"People of Britain, oh how I hate to be beside the seaside grimace, hate Gordon Brown hand gesture, looking over his shoulder underpants…"

"People of Britain, this is your Prime Minister, twitchy face, embarrassing plum suit, today..."

"People of Britain, this is your Supreme Overlord…"

"People of Britain, who hate me…"

"You miserable gits, this is your Prime Minister…"

"People of Britain, this is your Emperor…"

"Slack-jawed simpletons of Britain, this is your leader…"

"... But I am not Tony Blair. No, my real name is Enrique "The Condor" Martinez ..."

"[regarding George W. Bush] As you can see, the lights are on but no one's in the trailer home."

"People of Britain, this is your I-can't-believe-it's-not-Gordon Prime Minister."

"[after just regenerating into the Tenth Doctor] New Labour. That's weird."

"The listeners understand, John, and Gordon Brown agrees with this and you've had your say, that in so far as this policy is implemented if I can get a word in edgeways and the whole Cabinet is behind this…"

"I never said I was the Queen. This was twisted by the media back into the order in which I said it."

"Look, simply Blair has lost touch with the people! (Beat) Oh dear I almost made sense there!"

"And that's the end of the whole affair. And by affair I don't mean affair so will you quiet down, Pauline!"

"I used the funds for my large volume of important work (Beat) and my wife's volume of important hair"

"It is with deep regret and double chin that I announce this."

"He was a skater boy, she said see you later boy, he wasn't good enough for her. More on that story later."

"I swear you're just like a pill. Instead of making me better you're making me ill. More on that story later."

"I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot, I predict a riot. More on that story later."

"I've got something to put in you, I've got something to put in you, at the gay bar, gay bar. More on that story later."

"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot — happy Christmas, your arse, I pray God it's your last. More on that story later."

"I'm not trying to pull you, even though I would like to. I think you are really fit. You're fit but my gosh don't you know it. More on that story later."

"It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. More on that novel later."

"My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.. More on that story later."

"My fellow animaniacs…"