"[Ubermann hangs up the phone] Never have I seen anyone kiss ass like that."

"I know I'm no Neil Diamond. But happy birthday, anyway."

"Remember what I said about conquering your fears up here? I was wrong. This place would scare me shitless! Look at al…"

"A comedy about a guy who would do anything to get the girl of his dreams - and did!"

"One of these dogs must be Spade."

"David Spade - Dylan Ramsey"

"Sophie Marceau - Lila Dubois"

"Martin Sheen - Millstone"

"Ever Carradine - Ginger"

"Never date a woman who pays her rent in singles."