"I heard about this guy in Cicero, well he stiffed a loanshark, so a couple of these guys got him, cut off his arm, beat him to death with the arm, and shoved it in a food processor and made a dip out of it. Then they served it to his family at his sister's wedding. And the sister loved it so much, she wanted the recipe. It's a crazy world, isn't it?"

"Ansel "Double Barrel" Collins - Flamboyant (Ernest Reed's band)"

"[handing a fireman, Dave, a newspaper clipping] Read this, pal, and weep: "Paradise for pennies...a Garden of Eden, built on a secluded lagoon with its own private dock and speedboat included. Contact Mr. Banks, St. Nicholas.""

"Louise Bennett - Portia"

"Simon Jones - Toby Prooth"

"Mary Gross - Jackie"

"Robin Duke - Mary Lou"

"Steven Kampmann - Dr. Randy White"

"Joe Flaherty - Pilot"

"Brian Doyle-Murray - Voit Zerbe"

"Andrea Martin - Linda White"

"Joanna Cassidy - Terry Hamlin"

"Eugene Levy - Barry Steinberg"

"Adolph Caesar - Prime Minister Solomon Gundy (final film role)"

"Twiggy - Phillipa "Philadelphia" Lloyd"

"Jimmy Cliff - Ernest Reed"

"Rick Moranis - Barry Nye"

"Peter O'Toole - Governor Anthony Croyden Hayes"

"Robin Williams - Jack Moniker"

"I'd like to thank you and ask that you remain seated, with your seatbelts securely fastened until the aircraft has come to a complete... [buzzer interrupts his announcement] Brake pressure!"

"I will eat his bones!"

"I will crush Ernest Reed!"

"[after hearing Jack's name] Moniker? What kind of a name is "Moniker"?"

"Forget this place. You guys are gonna love the Caymans!"

"Gentlemen, I just spoke to the owner of Club Paradise, and believe me, he is dying to sell."

"[during a polo game] Sol, the boys are back. Our ship has come in. Now we've gotta deliver."

"There's a sickness in this place, and I'm the doctor. It's time to operate!"

"I ain't one for these songs! I have my own songs—I'm not doing these songs."

"[creating a new slogan for his club] Club Paradise. Your Hot Spot For Fun With Guns in the Sun."

"[to his girlfriend Phillipa Lloyd ("Miss Philadelphia") after being released from jail] Babe, this is the only country in the world where the constitution is written in pencil."