"First time I met Gaylen was 23 years ago. On the worst night of her life. Her son Kenny and his date, Darla Cleeway, disappeared on the way to the prom. All they found was a wrecked pickup and no bodies. When Gaylen finally believed what happened to Kenny, she asked if she could join the team. That was the beginning for me. Like last night was the beginning for you. [On The Creeper] This thing is ancient"

"Byron Brown as Mac"

"Chris Doubek as Roger Hinckley"

"Tate Donovan as Dr. Conway"

"Owen Egerton as Anthony Walsh"

"Nicholas Rutherford as Lenjamin Caine"

"Seychelle Gabriel as Sam"

"Barbara Dunkelman as Ashley"

"Rebecca Lynne Loftin Wagner as Jayme/Red"

"The clowns I found on Craigslist."

"Jacob Batalon as Krill"

"But children - children, we have a problem. Horror is dead. I mean, look around you! Our vampires glitter! Our zombies have become soap opera stars! Our slashers have grown dull and old. We put Freddy on a lunchbox! We put Lovecraft in a coloring book! We have overconsumed and overproduced, and we have taken what was forbidden, what was dangerous, and we have made it common."

"She thought Black Christmas was a Tyler Perry movie."

"Robbie Kay as Dax"

"Patrick Murray as Alcuin"

"John Reynolds as Alfred"

"Tim P. Doughty as Beothric"

"Conan Stevens as Thor"

"Natassia Linn Malthe as Brynna"

"Craig Fairbrass as Sven"

"Bruce Blain as Bernard"

"Jon Foo as Yang"

"Aida Rakhimora as Brunhilde"

"I know you said you would ask no more of me than any man, but what if I wanted to give you what only a woman can?"

"Dominic Purcell as Eirick"

"Ray Kril as Bishop"

"Jesse Moss as Frey"

"Tegan Moss as Freya"

"This C.H.U.D.'s for you!"

"Judd Omen as Sam"

"Larry Linville as Dr. Jewell"

"Jack Riley as Wade Williams"

"Sandra Kerns as Melissa Williams"

"Robert Vaughn as Colonel Masters"

"Larry Cedar as Graves"

"Norman Fell as Tyler"

"Bianca Jagger as Velma"

"Gerrit Graham as Bud Oliver/Bud the C.H.U.D."

"Tricia Leigh Fisher as Katie Norton"

"June Lockhart as Gracie"

"Bill Calvert as Kevin"

"Dr. Berkholter, where the hell are you? I am not fooling around!"

"Meet Bud, party animal of the living dead."

"Brian Robbins as Steve Williams"

"I die, I'm fucked. My family's fucked."