"Come on - three commanders. One ship. I don't think that's gonna work. There's not enough rocket fuel in the world to get those egos off the ground."

"Don Cheadle - Luke Graham"

"When we get back, we have GOT to try this in the simulator..."

"They're us. We're them."

"Like Maggie said: To stand on a new world and look beyond it to the next one."

"You're just not man enough to wear jewelry."

"Some couples dance, others go to Mars."

"Connie Nielsen - Terri Fisher"

"Jerry O'Connell - Phil Ohlmyer"

"Kelly-Marie Kerr - Clara"

"Gemma Jones - Queen Victoria"

"Tom Wu - Lead Boxer Liu"

"Aidan Gillen - Lord Nelson Rathbone"

"Fann Wong - Chon Lin"

"Thomas Fisher - Artie Doyle"

"Donnie Yen - Wu Chow"

"Jackie Chan - Chon Wang (stand-in by Vladimir Chaloupka)"

"Owen Wilson - Roy O'Brannon (doubled by Jimmy N. Roberts)"

"Oliver Cotton - Jack the Ripper"

"Aaron Johnson - Charlie Chaplin"

"And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Brannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me."

"I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out."

"I'm a 30 year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?"

"Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money."

"Kim Chan - Chon Wang and Chon Lin's father"

"[as it starts raining] Oh, this country blows."

"That's a terrible name for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?"

"You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Baloney!"

"Hey, Rathbone! I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Brannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Brannon versus the Man who would be Queen?""

"Yuen Biao as Saloon Fighter (uncredited)"

"Garvin Cross (stunts)"

"I call that my kung pow chicken."

"Who loves you, baby?"

"Walton Goggins as Wallace"