"I would like to do for you now, a Japanese science fiction movie: "Attack of the Killer Vibrators.""

"Before I go on, I want to ask if there are any Hell's Angels here tonight? [no response] … Those pussy-whipped faggots!"

"I would like to do Shakespeare's only unknown piece, That's the Way I Lick It ... It's a bleak night my Lord. Look! T…"

"You're only given a little spark of madness and if you lose that, you're nothin'."

"Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready.""

"Parry is a man with a previous life that was so damaged that he had to create another personality. … It's like post-t…"

"Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma."

"I'd like to start the show by showing you something I'm very proud of. You'll have to step back though."

"[spoofing Mister Rogers] It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... oh, damn, someone stole my sneakers. Let's do so…"

"We were talking briefly about cocaine...yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!"