Mario Role Playing Games

"Wait a tick! I've heard tell that only the rich and famous call that place home..."

"Harumph! Sounds positively scintillating, dear boy. Point us there!"

"Harumph! The Excess Express! Rather posh, I must say! Yes, rather posh indeed! The three days to Poshley Heights ought to pass in an eyeblink, eh, old boy?"

"What IS that rank thing? ...Horrors! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!"

"Harumph! Well, that was rather a bumpy trip, wot wot! Who would've guessed I'd get to do such a thing..."

"This place is rather ugly... but we haven't a choice in the matter, old boy! We must get in there and save Peach before this hullabaloo goes any further! Let's go, dear boy!"

"What? This is rather unfair! All this and Bowser, too?!?"

"Whew... Rather close, hm? At least we've settled that burly bloke's account, old boy. Now, let's save Peach!"

"Mario, what's next, old boy? This looks rather dire..."

"Serve a witch? My Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think..."

"OK, then! Now we must go see Professor Frankly."

"Hey... Isn't that place simply BURSTING with the rich and famous? Excellent."

"You know, I had heard that one must be rich or famous to ride the Excess Express..."

"Oh, I do NOT think that's a good idea! Do you know him? He is NOT one to mess with! ...Ah, well. If we have to, then I'm in, but it could get ugly. Come on, Mario. Let's go."

"Oh, my! That was quite fun! I can't say I ever thought I'd take a ride like THAT!"

"What an unpleasant place... but we don't have a choice in the matter! We have to get in there and save Peach before this gets any more out of hand! Let's go, dearie!"

"So, this fellow is the leader of those X-Nauts?"

"No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... We were so blind!"

"Why are we even talking about this? NEVER!"

"Doopliss: So, you figured it out by now, right, Slick? Your body and name belong to me now!"

"Sir Grodus: Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty."

"Lord Crump: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds... Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!"

"Blooey: Hey there, I'm Blooey. ...And this guy [Luigi] is a total liar! Don't listen to him! You heard his story, right? Well, he did TRY to throw me, but he completely tripped! And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! You think that feels good? Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well-done! My pale skin's crispified! I'll NEVER forgive this guy! I'm gonna make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime! That's the ONLY reason I'm still hanging around with him. YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!"

"Jerry: It is now my goal in life to keep this guy from ever dressing as a woman again."

"Koops: Umm... excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment, PLEASE!!! [Walks up to Mario] Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Umm... How to begin? M-My name's... Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle. So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask. [Long pause] Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye. [Turns to leave]"

"Koops: Oh... Golly... Umm... Hi... Hi, Koopie... Koopie Koo... Did you overhear all that?"

"TEC: Hello, Princess Peach."

"Hammer Bro: Lord Bowser! I have been training day and night to help you conquer the world! Should the time come, I shall be ready! Order me as you please, your Surliness!"

"Punio: Elder!"

"Punio: Elder! We're back! We're here to rescue you!"

"Bowser: I've found you, my Princess. I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, offer my greeting!"

"Rawk Hawk: That's right! Unh! I think it's about time for you to FEEL THE RAAAAAWK! [Defeats the Koopinator] Stay down, pincushion! You don't want more of this! Why'd you even show up? Yeah, you hear me talking, Wimpy! Stay outta the ring, or feel the burn, baby! Tell you what: do about a million push-ups and then come see Uncle Rawk Hawk! I'll give you another world-class spanking and send you crying home to Momma again!"

"Rawk Hawk: Studly guy, coming through! Listen up, losers! I've been hearing about some rising star tearing up the league... [Turns around and sees Mario] It's you, isn't it! Yeah! You fit the bill, skinny! A mustache named Gonzales! Man, I came all the way over her for YOU?!? Harharhar! What a waste of time!"

"Freddy: Oh no! The bell rang again! Oh... This is so awful... Who could it be now? [Turns into a pig]"

"Flavio: And what about you, Squinty? You turned to jelly when you saw all those ghosts!"

"Cortez: NOOOOOOOO! My treasure! [Shrinks] I am done for... [Grows again] Yohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead! Well, technically, I was already dead... but my spirit endures, tied to my treasure! So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo! Still, guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as death!"

"Four-Eyes: So sorry to surprise you... No, wait... No need for that fake politeness anymore... Good job getting the Crystal Star! Oh, yeah! Seriously! Good job getting it for ME!"

"Grodus: You blew it again, Lord Crump. You sicken me."

"Grodus: What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake Crystal Star? That's asinine!"

"Grodus: TEC... You miserable machine. We all know what you're up to, traitor."

"TEC: You... are Mario... are... you not? It... is pleasant to meet you... I... am the main computer of this fortress... I am TEC. I must tell you something.... That is why... I brought you to this place... Princess P... Peach.......... I... am so s... sorry. Most of my data was er... erased... and my main power unit was shut... down. Now running on backup power with... only cached memory... trying to stay... operational. M... Mario... You know that Peach is not here, do you not? Please save... Peach... Please... please... Princess Peach... is... with Grodus in the... Palace of Shadow... I had to... tell you that... But... backup... power... failing... Mario... Use... the teleporter room... to get back to... Rogueport. Teleporter room is... on... sublevel... 2... of the fortress... I will release... the room lock."

"Bowser: Urrrgh... That was a surprise... I didn't think I'd fall... Have I put on weight?"

"Professor Frankly: So... You're leaving, then. Well, that's too bad... Having you around really did wonders for my research..."

"Ages ago, a city flourished here in peace and splendor, but it was destroyed in a single day by a demon from the dark beyond. Historians claim a great calamity befell the city, but nay... 'twas a demon. The city sank below ground, and one-quarter of the old city became the demon's den. This demon put fear into the hearts of all men and sent out minions to take the land. And its den, its palace, grew rich with the treasures stolen from all over the world."

"The demon built a dungeon near its palace and filled it with terrifying monsters. All those who fell into disfavor were thrown into this dungeon to rot. Yea, and the demon also had three dragon pets: Hooktail, Gloomtail, and Bonetail. These dragons flew across the land, spreading fear and sorrow over all. Even now, the mere mention of a dragon is enough to give some the terrors..."

"No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... What did we do?"

"So, this chump is the leader of the X-Nauts?"

"We're gonna do it! We make the major league if we win! Get psyched, Mario!"

"Aren't Punies just the most precious little things? Mario, I feel I must ask... Did you know that I used to be a rather famous actress? I was a diva of the stage! I was known as Madame Flurrie the world over... But... the filthy air outside the spotlight repelled me. So I came to the woods. And soon enough, I glimpsed the beauty of these Punies and their pure little hearts... It reminded me of my own innocence as an actress. And that made me realize... I shall ever love the stage! I must feel the spotlight shine on me again! I MUST! As you can see, these dear little Punies helped me find my true self... That's why I must help them however I can before I go on my own adventures."

"Jeepers... This room gives me a super-bad feeling, Mario... What IS this chamber?"