"Samantha tell us she has to nip off now to see her gentleman beautician friend now, who has a leg hair treatment for her. He lays ribbons of sticky wax paper on her thighs and then lets them dry. Then, Samantha says, she likes to watch as he rips the paper strips and wax off for her..."

"While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris..."

"While Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up..."

"Tony Hawks: "We look at your rectal issues"

"Miles Jupp: "Good news about your application"

"Harry Enfield: "We'll send you a massive bill"

"Gary Delaney: "Once on TV I was hot"

"Pippa Evans: "Standing watching all of you"

"Pippa Evans: [Whispering throughout] "Gentle parenting's the way"

"Henning Wehn: "This is mostly crust!""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Sorry, I started without you.""

"Rory Bremner: "We're the police force, we solve crime"

"Rory Bremner: "Out of range the battery's dead"

"Willie Rushton: "Tadpole Dundee""

"Miles Jupp: "I might just have to loosen my trousers and go for seconds.""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Smack the bottom really hard and see if anything comes out.""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Ooh, what a lovely spread.""

"Rachel Parris: "Sorry, it's a bit dry.""

"Henning Wehn: "Is service included?""

"Miles Jupp: "I've put some little bowls out so you can clean your fingers.""

"Rachel Parris: "Shall I be mother?""

"Rachel Parris: "Don't check if it's done or it'll take longer!""

"Adrian Edmondson: "But remember to chew every mouthful.""

"Miles Jupp: "Bring it to your mouth, not your mouth to it, please!""

"Rachel Parris: "And it's polite not to leave until everyone has finished.""

"Henning Wehn: "In some cultures it's polite to burp afterwards.""

"Miles Jupp: "Just ten more minutes, the meat really needs to rest.""