"So I'm an old garbage bag put in the street, huh?... These are the worst years, I tell you. It's going to happen to you. I'm afraid to look in a mirror. I'm afraid I'm gonna see an old lady with white hair, just like the old ladies in the park with little bundles and black shawls waiting for the coffin. I'm fifty-six years old. And what am I gonna do with myself? I've got strength in my hands. I want to clean. I want to cook. I want to make dinner for my children. Am I an old dog to lay near the fire till my eyes close? These are terrible years, Theresa, terrible years... It's gonna happen to you. It's gonna happen to you! What are you gonna do if Marty gets married? Huh? What are you gonna cook? Where's all the children playing in all the rooms? Where's the noise? It's a curse to be a widow, a curse! What are you gonna do if Marty gets married? What are you gonna do?"

"College girls are one step from the street, I tell you. My son Joseph wife, she type on the typewriter - one step from the street!"

"[to Catherine] Where you go, rain go. Someday you gonna smile, we gonna have a big holiday."

"[to Angie] You don't like her. My mother don't like her. She's a dog and I'm a fat, ugly man. Well, all I know is I had a good time last night. I'm gonna have a good time tonight. If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees and I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me. If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party. You don't like her? That's too bad! Hey Ang, when are you going to get married? You're 33 years old, and all your kid brothers and sisters are married. You oughta be ashamed of yourself."

"Ma, sooner or later, there comes a point in a man's life when he's gotta face some facts. And one fact I gotta face is that, whatever it is that women like, I ain't got it."

"I've been looking for a girl every Saturday night of my life."

"Domenick Lombardozzi — Nicky Zero"

"Louis Vanaria — Crazy Mario"

"Joe Pesci — Carmine"

"Taral Hicks — Jane Williams"

"Kathrine Narducci — Rosina Anello"

"Francis Capra — Calogero Anello"

"Lillo Brancato, Jr. — Calogero Anello"

"Chazz Palminteri — Sonny LoSpecchio"

"Robert De Niro — Lorenzo Anello"

"[as he walks out of Sonny's funeral] Sonny and my father always said that when I get older I would understand. Well, I finally did. I learned something from these two men. I learned to give love and get love unconditionally. You just have to accept people for what they are, and I learned the greatest gift of all. The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever. But you can ask anybody from my neighborhood, and they'll just tell you this is just another Bronx tale."

"I was getting two educations: One from the street and one from school. That way I'd be twice as smart as everybody."

"It was great to be Catholic and go to confession. You could start over every week."

"[last words before he died] Come here!"

"Mickey Mantle? Is that what you're upset about? Mickey Mantle makes $100,000 a year. How much does your father make? You don't know? Well, see, if your father can't pay the rent, go ask Mickey Mantle and see what he tells you. Mickey Mantle don't care about you, so why should you care about him? Nobody cares."

"[about Sonny] People don't love him, they fear him. There's a difference."

"Sometimes in the heat of passion, the little head tells the big head what to do, and the big head should think twice about what you are doing."

"Louis Giambalvo - Ray Andruitti"

"If you're going to live in a whorehouse, there's only one thing you can do: be the best damn whore around."

"[Narrating] A $600 million bond, to which he stood to get $1.8 million on commission, which would retire the mortgage on his Park Avenue co-op. For Sherman McCoy, that was all in a day's work."

"[narrating] Our hero, Sherman McCoy, was about to make a simple phone call. But despite the existence of 11 telephones, and 7 different lines, in 14 rooms of his 16-million-plus dollar apartment, this was a phone call he could not make at home."

"[narrating] It was all over. There was no hope now. The darkness closed in around them. And then I noticed the most peculiar thing. Sherman was smiling."

"[narrating] Yes see, Sherman, who started with so much, lost everything. But he gained his soul. Whereas I, you see, who started with so little, gained everything. "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses..." Ah well. There are compensations."

"Remember guys, a frantic salesman is a dead salesman!"

"[to court room] Racist? You dare call me racist? Well I say unto you, what does it matter the color of a man's skin if witnesses perjure themselves. If a prosecutor enlists the perjurers. When a district attorney throws a man to the mob for political gain, and men of the cloth, men of God, take the prime cuts? Is that justice? I don't hear you...Let me tell you what justice is. Justice is the law. And the law is man's feeble attempt to lay down the principles of decency. Decency! And decency isn't a deal, it's not a contract or a hustle or an angle! Decency... decency is what your grandmother taught you. It's in your bones! Now you go home. Go home and be decent people. Be decent."

"Reverend Bacon: [about the incident with Henry Lamb] This is a tragedy! A fine young man has been struck down. God- fearing, church-going, never in trouble, graduating from high school, ready for college - and somebody comes along - some rich white people in a rich white man's car and wham! They run him down and never even stop. Now what are we going to do about these parking tickets?"

"Judy McCoy: I'm leaving you! [pause] After the party... and now, if you will excuse me, we have guests."

"Sir Gerald Moore: I was at dinner last evening, and halfway through the pudding, this four-year-old child came alone, dragging a little toy cart. And on the cart was a fresh turd. Her own, I suppose. The parents just shook their heads and smiled. I've made a big investment in you, Peter. Time and money, and it's not working. Now, I could just shake my head and smile. But in my house, when a turd appears, we throw it out. We dispose of it. We flush it away. We don't put it on the table and call it caviar."

"Maria Ruskin: [when she and Sherman end up in Bronx] Sherman... where are all the white people?"

"Take one Wall Street tycoon, his Fifth Avenue mistress, a reporter hungry for fame, and make the wrong turn in the Bronx... then sit back and watch the sparks fly."

"An outrageous story about greed, lust vanity in America."

"Tom Hanks - Sherman McCoy"

"Bruce Willis - Peter Fallow"

"Melanie Griffith - Maria Ruskin"

"Kim Cattrall - Judy McCoy"

"Saul Rubinek - Jed Kramer"

"Morgan Freeman - Judge Leonard White"