"Buddy, before you join the jubilation at my being beaten again, you should remember: people vote not out of love, but fear. They don't teach that at Sunday School or the Whittier Community Playhouse!"

"Paul Sorvino - Henry Kissinger"

"David Hyde Pierce - John Dean"

"Can you imagine what this man would be like had anyone ever loved him?"

"[to John Dean] John, sooner or later, sooner, I think, you're gonna learn a lesson that's been learned by everyone who's ever gotten close to Richard Nixon. That he's the darkness reaching out for the darkness. And eventually, it's either you or him. Your grave's already been dug, John."

"Triumphant in Victory, Bitter in Defeat. He Changed the World, But Lost a Nation."

"Shattered by a dangerous web of conspiracy, betrayal and intrigue!"

"Joan Allen - Pat Nixon"

"James Woods - H. R. Haldeman"

"Edward Herrmann - Nelson Rockefeller"

"Powers Boothe - Alexander Haig"

"Bob Hoskins - J. Edgar Hoover"

"Brian Bedford - Clyde Tolson"

"Tony Frank - Dino"

"Earl Hindman - Chet / Black John / Jerry (voice)"

"Linda Atkinson - Sheila Fleming"

"Zach Grenier - Sid Greenberg"

"Alec Baldwin - Dan"

"Eric Bogosian - Barry Champlain"

"Ellen Greene - Ellen"

"John Pankow - Dietz"

"Barry Champlain is a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there."

"And what if a woman competes with you in the marketplace and takes your job? What if black men start dating and marrying white women? Oh! And what if homosexuals are teaching your children? And what if you're afraid to walk the streets at night? What if you see yuppies getting rich while you're standing in the unemployment line? And what if your government sends you to Vietnam to fight a war they have no chance of winning? And what if your country is slipping away, lost? I know the argument, friend. It's the great theory of history. I've heard it before. It says, "When things ain't good, instead of getting down and doing something about it, instead of changing your life, it's a hell of a lot easier to blame somebody else." And it just don't wash in my book."

"This country is in deep trouble people! This country is rotten to the core and somebody better do something about it! Now I want you to take your hand out of that bowl of Fritos, throw away your National Enquirer, and pick up the phone!"

"Metro Wave Broadcasting is a giant media corporation specializing in broadcast radio. It has 357 affiliate stations in the United States and Canada. Two minutes ago I received a phone call from the man who controls those 357 stations, the president of Metro Wave Broadcasting. He asked me if Metro Wave could pick up this show, pick up Barry Champlaign for national syndication, beginning Monday night. I've had these offers before, and I've been asked in the past if I could ever soften my touch, go a little easier, and my answer has always been the same; Take it or leave it. He took it. And so, beginning Monday night, this show, Night Talk, begins national broadcasting. That means the nation is listening. You better have something to say. I know I do."

"This is Barry Champlain reminding you that sticks and stones can break your bones, but words cause permanent damage."

"Believe it or not, you make perfect sense to me. I should hang. I'm a hypocrite. I ask for sincerity and I lie. I denounce the system as I embrace it. I want money and power and prestige. I want ratings and success. I don't give a damn about you or the world. That's the truth. For this I could say I'm sorry, but I won't. Why should I? I mean, who the hell are you anyways, you - audience! You're on me every night like a pack of wolves because you can't stand facing what you are and what you've made! Yes, the world is a terrible place. Yes, cancer and garbage disposals will get you. Yes, a war is coming. Yes, the world is shot to hell and you're all goners! Everything's screwed up and you like it that way, don't you!"

"Leslie Hope - Laura"

"John C. McGinley - Stu"

"Barry and I worked together for over seven years. And whenever you threatened him over the air, man, he would stick it right back in your face. It was like his dick was flapping in the wind and he'd like to see if he could get an erection. The guy had a little dick, but he liked to flap it out there. Then they cut it off, so now he's dead. I don't know if you understand my analogy, but it's the clearest one I can make."

"Michael Wincott - Kent / Michael / Joe"

"Robert Trebor - Jeffrey Fisher / Francine"

"[On his father] This is my war, not his!"

"Whose job is it, to find these damn weapons?"

"God bless us all, and may God continue to bless America."

"I'll never get out of Poppy's shadow!"

"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... you can't get fooled again."

"My dad would have kicked me in the crotch if I was where you are now, junior."

"Thandie Newton - Condoleezza Rice"