British Films

"John Lennon - Himself"

"TV Director: Get me a bottle of milk and some tranquilizers. I see it all now, it's a plot... a plot..."

"Shake: [Trying to follow the Beatles into a casino, past a security guard] I'm with them. I'm, uh, Ringo's sister."

"Norm: Shake, that that wig off, it suits you."

"Come in, number seven, your time's up!"

"There you go, hiding behind a smokescreen of bourgeois clichés."

"I'm going parading before it's too late."

"I don't think it's very likely we'll get on. The law of averages is against it."

"Hey, you won't interfere with the basic rugged concept of me personality, will you madam?"

"[Regarding Ringo] He's very fussy about his drums, you know. They loom large in his legend."

""Oh, that this too too sullied flesh would melt..." [Quickly turns to the camera] ZAP!"

"No, actually, we're just good friends."

"I like to keep Britain tidy."

"If you lost him I'll cripple ya!"

"Mister, can we have our ball back?"

"You're a swine."

"[Sees Ringo reading a magazine while wearing a Queen's guard bearskin hat] Hey, he's reading the Queen. That's an in-joke, you know."

"Control yourself, you'll spurt."

"[Wearing a beard, looking into a mirror] My name's Betty."

"[In a female voice] I now declare this bridge open."

"We know how to behave, we've had lessons."

"The best moments in reading are when you come across something — a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things — that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out and taken yours."

"Clive Merrison - The Headmaster"

"Sacha Dhawan - Akhtar"

"Samuel Barnett - Posner"

"Dominic Cooper - Dakin"

"Jamie Parker - Scripps"

"Russell Tovey - Rudge"

"Andrew Knott - Lockwood"

"Frances de la Tour - Mrs. Lintott"

"Richard Griffiths - Hector"

"Stephen Campbell Moore - Irwin"

"James Corden - Timms"

"Samuel Anderson - Crowther"

"History. It's just one fucking thing after another."

"Meet The Boys Who Are Making History!"

"I was a geographer. I went to Hull."

"On enquiry I find his pupils know all the words of "When I'm Cleaning Windows". And Gracie Fields, Dorothy, Gracie Fields."

"I said it from the start: you can't polish a turd! (About Rudge)"

"One oddity: Rudge. And Christ Church of all places! Might get into Loughborough... on a bad year... otherwise all brights!"

"I want to be up there with Manchester Grammar, Haberdasher Askes, Leighton Park... or is that an open prison? No matter."

"They're good... but they're crass. They need polish... edge."

"Turning facts on their heads. It's like a game."

"The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers... It's consolation. All literature is consolation."

"History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind... with a bucket."

"How do I define history? It's just one fuckin' thing after another."

"[on Hector being sacked] No more genital massage as one speed along leafy suburban roads. No more the bike's melancholy long withdrawing roar as he dropped you at the corner, your honor still intact."

"The truth was, in 1914, Germany doesn't want war. Yeah, there's an arms race, but it's Britain who's leading it. So, why does no one admit this?"

"But this is History. Distance yourselves. Our perspective on the past alters. Looking back, immediately in front of us is dead ground. We don't see it, and because we don't see it this means that there is no period so remote as the recent past. And one of the historian's jobs is to anticipate what our perspective of that period will be... even on the Holocaust."

"Pass the parcel. That's sometimes all you can do. Take it, feel it, and pass it on. Not for me, not for you, but for someone, somewhere, one day. Pass it on, boys. That's the game I want you to learn. Pass it on."