Warren Farrell

"The increase in suicide among white males led to as many white males’ lives lost to suicide as have been lost to AIDS."

"More black boys between ten and twenty are killed by homicide than by the next nine leading causes of death combined."

"By 2015, in good economic times, boys and men were committing suicide three and a half times more often than women."

"There is probably no better evidence of the increase of the boy crisis as a mental health problem than the fact that the US jail and prison population increased by more than 700 percent between 1973 and 2013."

"To date, our prison debate has focused on rehabilitation versus incarceration, rather than prevention versus imprisonment."

"Prison spending has increased at five times the rate of spending per grade school student."

"In aggregate, these jobs might be thought of as “glass cellar” jobs—all-male, because it is almost exclusively our sons who are willing to risk death so their family will have a better life."

"Whether through bigorexia or choosing the death professions, our sons, like our daughters, are often responding to what they feel will give them more approval and respect."

"Your son will enter an economy that has made a transition from muscle to mental—or from muscle to microchip."

"Over the last forty years, the median annual earnings of a boy with just a high school diploma dropped 26 percent."

"Japan has vastly increased its vocational education programs, with 23 percent of Japan’s high school graduates studying at vocational schools. The result: 99.6 percent of Japanese vocational students received jobs upon graduation."

"Here’s why I predict emotional intelligence will be paramount for your son’s future: the more sophisticated artificial intelligence becomes, the more we will yearn for humans to fill the emotional intelligence void."

"Both bullies and the bullied have three things in common: both come from negative family, school, and community environments; both have low self-esteem; and both have poor social skills."

"Since empathy and emotional intelligence can be taught, and these skills are key to preparing our sons for the professions that will be in the greatest demand, we need to integrate this curriculum into our schools in the formative years."

"Suicide now takes “more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined, stealing more than 36 million years of healthy life” around the world."

"The rate of increase in male suicide in India is growing at more than nine times that of female suicide."

"To win wars, we had to train our sons to be disposable. We honored boys if they died so we could live. We called them heroes."

"The more a boy represses his feelings and puts armor around his heart, the harder it is to open our hearts to him."

"Fatherhood was about your dad trading in the old glint in his eye—what he loved to do—for the new glint in his eye: his love for you."

"“My Father’s Glint Was His Career—He Always Did Just What He Wanted.”"

"Your son may simultaneously feel that the male role is pressuring him to feel obligated to earn money someone else spends while he dies sooner."

"Your son’s heroes didn’t climb traditional ladders—they built their own."

"The women’s movement warned every girl how marriage can seduce her to make a sacrifice of her career. But no one warned every boy how marriage can seduce him to make a sacrifice in his career"

"Had John attended to his first son, Julian, the way he attended to Sean, we would never have heard of John Lennon."

"Preparing his son to be a football hero was Jack’s dad’s unconscious way of preparing Jack for manhood by preparing him to sacrifice his body in exchange for the social bribes of being praised and valued."

"Your son learns the “hero paradox”: to value himself by not valuing himself."

"Feminists often discuss women having two jobs: work and children. True. But no one discusses those divorced and remarried men who have three jobs: work, and two sets of children to nurture and financially support."

"I soon saw that feminists who supported the “Primary Parent Theory” were not in favor of equality of opportunity, but of unequal opportunism."

"The irony of primary parent laws is that on the one hand feminists were arguing for women’s equal rights to jointly-created career assets that emanated from the male financial womb, but arguing against men’s equal rights to jointly-created children that emanated from the woman’s child-bearing womb."

"In brief, she is the partner to what primarily he creates; he is the visitor to what primarily she creates. To me, this wasn’t equality."

"Most mothers want more of dad in their children’s lives, not less."

"Raising children was not designed for single parents. (Which is why divorce was such a taboo prior to birth control.)"

"Our children are better served by speaking not of “visitation” versus “custody,” but of “parent time.”"

"When we speak of mom winning custody or of dad getting visitation time, we speak of someone winning, someone losing. When we speak of mom or dad spending “parent time” with a child, we speak of two parents, not a parent versus a visitor."

"From a woman’s perspective, sharing parent time feels like what a man might experience if his ex-wife came to his office and shared his career. He might claim the sharing is not in the best interests of the employer. But what he really would be caring about is the affront should his ex-wife do as good as he at his own job. While the fear is understandable, the difference is that his career is his, their children are theirs."

"If Women Have An Equal EMPLOYMENT Opportunity Commission, Why Don’t Men Have An Equal FAMILY Opportunity Commission?"

"When women entered the workplace, many men were mentors to them and, in turn, also learned to respect women’s unique contributions (for example, their listening and facilitative skills). Now, as we give men responsibilities to care for children, women must be among the mentors, and we must also learn to respect men’s unique contributions."

"If we both ignore the unique contribution of “male-style” parenting and jail a man who responsibly contributes it, fatherhood becomes another hazardous occupation. More precisely, it becomes the largest 100%-male hazardous occupation. And in the process, our children lose one of the greatest potential gifts of Stage II -- genuine fatherhood. That’s the bad news. The good news is that there are ways of creating a father and child reunion...."

"Technology is dad-at-home friendly. It allows the family to be more creative and role flexible than it ever has in the past without being poor in the process."

"Many women are discovering that the motherhood instinct implies a responsibility to be certain children have dads -- everyday, not far away; and some are aware that economic independence requires not holding on to her child as if it were her job."

"We cannot think of dads as being nurturing if we think of men as being self-serving."

"A paucity of funding from private and government sources would be much less a problem if billions of dollars each year were not funding feminist perspectives on men. This funding leads to Women’s Studies without Men’s Studies; to studies about deadbeat dads, but not dead broke or dead-ended dads -- or moms who deny dads access to children, or make false accusations to obtain children."

"In brief, part of the need for funding comes from the need to create balance to a third of a century of funding an “attitude” toward men. And part comes from the need to study how both sexes can make a transition from those rigid roles to more flexible roads with a clear enough road map to not go over too many cliffs along the way..."

"There is little life where no one will listen. These are fathers, sons and families who are needlessly lost."

"We need to fund relationship language in our schools so that future parents will know how to communicate about whether they want children; to communicate with the children they have, and teach their children how to communicate with the world. Technical progress without social skills is a Tower of Babel."

"Social policy that reunites father and child must always confront itself with the question, “Are we paying dads to stay, or to go away?” If a single mother receives more money when the father isn’t around than when he is around, there will be fewer fathers around. The government will become her substitute husband."

"If we are to inspire men to father it also helps to stop reflexively condemning men as afraid of commitment and address what they are afraid of. –page246."

"Helping women achieve higher pay is a core goal of this book."

"A person working 45 hours per week averages 44% more income than someone working 40 hours per week. That’s 44% more income for 13% more time."

"Nick was experiencing the father’s catch-22: loving his family by being away from the love of his family."