Shock Treatment

"[singing] I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself. I've been a cynic for too many years. Playing doctor and nurse, it can be good for your health. I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers."

"[singing] You need a bit of... ooh, shock treatment/Get you jumpin' like a real live wire/Need a bit of... ooh, shock treatment/So look out, mister, don't you blow your last resistor for a vista that'll mystify ya!"

"Does he do that often? ... Good! Well there's still hope. Lots of hope."

"HE!!?? How dare this person take advantage of my weakness."

"With Fast Food Farley at the helm it'll be TV dinners from now on."

"There are countless people in this world, Janet, who believe they're happy."

"Brad has deep feelings of hostility towards you. ... It's classical. Almost a textbook case..."

"You are the most desirable creature that ever walked."

"In the old series, we never had a convertible."

"[singing] I feel the heat from your skin and the stubble on your chin, you're no good"

"[singing] But if you open your heart to a smooth operator, he'll take you for all that you've got. He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later. It'll shake you the way he takes off... like a shot."

"I don't think he intends to go *that* far."

"This could be worse than the old series."

"Bert! So nice to see you up and about. Care to join me in an on-set snack?"

"We understand you've been going through a rather trying time."

"Our speciality!"

"Dear old Bert's settled everything."

"Coming from a gourmet, that's praise indeed. But, secrets!"

"I just love home movies, don't you?"

"The question is, does Brad want to see you? Quite frankly, he hates you."

"We only want what's best for him. As parents, you must understand."

"We used them. All of them."

"This is Janet. She's a phenomenon."

"Brad's an emotional cripple, remember? But even he wouldn't want to see you like this."

"[pouring pills down Brad's throat] Amateurs!"

"Like a virgin with an urgin' in a surgery, I'll be swinging, I'll be bringing out the nurse in me."

"She let us down. She let us all down!"

"It's all right, Brad dear... Have another sedative. We'll miss you on the show tonight."

"Shut up, Emily, and listen to a success story."

"[singing] Faggots are maggots, thank God I'm a man."

"I never had the time to have a nervous breakdown."

"[singing] You're blinded by romance, you're blinded by science. Your condition is critically grave, but don't expect mercy from such an alliance. Suspicion of tradition's so new wave."

"Sign the contract tomorrow... That way, you get the first day free."

"[singing] Legs like mine were meant for dancin'. Oh, look what I did to my Id!"

"[singing] You'll find happy hearts, and smiling faces, and tolerance for, the ethnic races, in Denton."

"I can't stand it! Everything good always happens to other people!"

"I tell you, Janet, that guy's as close as we'll come to a successful man in this town."

"You keep up that high standard of interview and I'll have to include you in Farley's documentary. You were so... probing!"

"And Fast Food Giant Farley Flavors has given Miss Mental Health what can only be described as an official kiss of approval and the crowd are loving it as they follow her down the Dentonvale trail."

"And how does 'local girl' Janet Majors fit into the scheme of things?"

"An' so if you're a follower of exotic trends in fashion you'll find plenty to keep you going here tonight...and, naturally, feeling the excitement and not wishing to stick out like a sore thumb, I had to get an outfit of my own together...and this is it..."

"[singing] I spent a lifetime on deposit, and that's a long time in the closet. And when you say to me 'How was it?' it was hard taking that heart-breaking godforsaken route. But now I'm b-b-breaking out!"

"Once upon a time, there lived a real fast guy. His life was fast. His friends were fast. Heh - even his food was fast. But he was still not satisfied. He wanted to share his fast philosophy with someone else, a beautiful girl. Trouble was, she was in the arms of... another man."

"The sun never sets on those who ride into it."

"First and foremost, Farley Flavors' fabulous fast foods feed and fortify families for a fabulous future."

"Trust Me, I'm A Doctor."

"The Home of Happiness"

"This town doesn't just love television... they LIVE it!"

"One From The Vault!"

"It's Not A Sequel... It's Not A Prequel... It's An Equal"