Mystery Men

"This is weird in here. It's scary and weird."

"It's the FUNKYSKUNKULATOR!"

"Let's do some CARNAGE!"

"I guess I'll just have to take my ball and go home."

"Here comes Daddy!"

"Do you wannna go back in the bag? Is that how we're gonna play this? You make the rules."

"Oh, there's another chicken. Crazy chicken world."

"How delightfully eccentric — while simultaneously being a complete waste of our time!"

"See, that's why, in general, a mad scientist is less desirable than a garden-variety scientist."

"Maybe you should put some shorts on or something if you want to keep fighting evil today."

"Now , there's a wedgie she won't soon forget."

"Who would want to rent a chicken?"

"[After avenging her father's murder] "Now I'm going back to Graduate School. That was the agreement.""

"No dad, He's neither a commie, nor a fruit."

"There's not enough beer in the world Spleen, I'm sorry."

"You must be like the wolf pack... not like the six-pack."

"You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums."

"Learn to hide your strikes from your opponent and you'll more easily strike his hide."

"When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack."

"He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions."

"Casanova will have many weapons. To defeat him we will need to have more than forks and flatulence."

"Do not go there, my son! When you doubt your powers, you give power to your doubts."

"We are number one! All others are number two, or lower."

"Sometimes, the true hero is the one with the courage to run away."

"When you care for what is on the outside, what is inside cares for you."

"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn."

"Hello, Champion City. Daddy... is home!"

"When the clock strikes twelve... cuckoo, cuckoo... you will be dead. And my city will be given a new state of mind."

"Tonight I am going to do to Champion City what I have done to its greatest superhero — und there will still be time to go up, get down... und boogie!"

"I have created a beautiful machine that is going to encourage our fellow citizens to share my vision of the future! Can you dig it?"

"A fish-fork is no match for my machine!"

""It is so easy to get the better of people when they care about each other — which is why evil will always have the edge."

"Yes, of course, you may absolutely bring za brewskies."

""No, no. I don't live here. I'm just here for the ladies." (at a nursing home)"

"I don't make anything that's deadly."

"Totally nonlethal, but totally effective."

"That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe."

"I can trick that out with a clam-shell holster. It comes with a leather carrying case. It's got a wadcutter and a full warranty."

"It's a psycho-frakulator! It creates a-a cloud of radically fluctuating deviant chaotrons, which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concantenated with a-a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary! It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is, is that hallucinations become reality... and the brain is literally fried from within."

"Wait — you have a Herkimer battle jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!"

"Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase."

""You keep dreaming... wanna-be!" ~ Officer Maguire"

""You know, tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime. That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste. Because I want my teeth to look — Amazing!" ~ Captain Amazing in TV commercial"

""Baby, you shovel better than any man I've ever known... but that does not make you a superhero. You're a good husband, and a good father. Nothing more." ~ Lucille (Mrs. Shoveler)"

""I believe in you, Daddy." ~ Roland (Shoveler's son)"

""I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft!" ~ Tony P (to the Bowler)"

""P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?" ~ P.M.S. Avenger"

""Okay, okay — the Six Very Nearly Dead Guys With a Temporary Reprieve. That's it! That's your name!" ~ Tony P"

""Kill ya later — super-losers!" ~ Tony P"

""This contraption is, in fact, a weapon of mass destruction. Casanova plans to turn it against the city at midnight." ~ Captain Amazing"