Jonathan Swift

"Where Young must torture his invention To flatter knaves, or lose his pension."

"Hobbes clearly proves that every creature Lives in a state of war by nature."

"So, naturalists observe, a flea Hath smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller still to bit 'em; And so proceed ad infinitum. Thus every poet, in his kind, Is bit by him that comes behind."

"A penny for your thoughts."

"Do you think I was born in a wood to be afraid of an owl?"

"The sight of you is good for sore eyes."

"'Tis as cheap sitting as standing."

"I hate nobody: I am in charity with the world."

"I won't quarrel with my bread and butter."

"She's no chicken; she's on the wrong side of thirty, if she be a day."

"She looks as if butter wou'dn't melt in her mouth."

"If it had been a bear it would have bit you."

"She wears her clothes, as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork."

"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."

"I mean you lie—under a mistake."

"Lord M. What religion is he of? Lord Sp. Why, he is an Anythingarian."

"He was a bold man that first ate an oyster."

"That's as well said, as if I had said it myself."

"You must take the will for the deed."

"Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives."

"She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body."

"Lord, I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing!"

"They say a carpenter's known by his chips."

"The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman."

"I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me "spade"."

"May you live all the days of your life."

"I have fed like a farmer: I shall grow as fat as a porpoise."

"I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land, or water."

"I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs."

"I thought you and he were hand-in-glove."

"Better belly burst than good liquor be lost."

"'T is happy for him that his father was before him."

"There is none so blind as they that won't see."

"She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse."

"She pays him in his own coin."

"There was all the world and his wife."

"Sharp's the word with her."

"There's two words to that bargain."

"Hic depositum est Corpus IONATHAN SWIFT S.T.D. Hujus Ecclesiæ Cathedralis Decani, Ubi sæva Indignatio Ulterius Cor lacerare nequit, Abi Viator Et imitare, si poteris, Strenuum pro virili Libertatis Vindicatorem."

"You beat your pate, and fancy wit will come; Knock as you please, there's nobody at home."

"It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into."

"There is, indeed, no wild beast more to be dreaded than a communicative man having nothing to communicate."

"As love without esteem is volatile and capricious; esteem without love is languid and cold."

"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."

"People only throw stones at trees with fruit on them."

"Und er [der König von Brobdingnag] gab seine Meinung dahin ab, wer es fertig brächte, zwei Kornähren oder zwei Grashalme auf einem Fleck Bodens zu ziehn, wo zuvor nur einer wuchs, der mache sich mehr um die Menschheit verdient und tue seinem Lande einen wesentlicheren Dienst als das ganze Geschlecht der Politiker zusammengenommen."

"Wir haben Religion genug, um einander zu hassen, aber nicht genug, um einander zu lieben."

"Und schließlich gleicht der wahre Kritiker beim Lesen eines Buches einem Hunde beim Festmahl, dessen Sinnen und Trachten einzig auf das gerichtet ist, was die Gäste fortwerfen, und der daher dort am meisten knurren wird, wo die wenigsten Knochen abfallen."

"Jeder möchte lange leben, aber keiner will alt werden."

"Ich liebe gute, ehrenwerte Bekanntschaft; ich liebe es, der Schlechteste in einer Gesellschaft zu sein."