Epitaphs

"Quand je serai la, je serai sans souci."

"Here lies Fred, Who was alive and is dead. Had it been his father, I had much rather. Had it been his brother, Still better than another. Had it been his sister, No one would have missed her. Had it been the whole generation, Still better for the nation. But since 'tis only Fred, Who was alive, and is dead, There's no more to be said."

"Fuller's earth."

"Here lies Nolly Goldsmith, for shortness called Noll, Who wrote like an angel, and talked like poor Poll."

"Here lie together, waiting the Messiah The little David and the great Goliath."

"Life is a jest, and all things show it, I thought so once, but now I know it."

"Like a worn out type, he is returned to the Founder in the hope of being recast in a better and more perfect mould."

"I have expended; I have given; I have kept; I have possessed; I do possess; I have lost; I am punished. What I formerly expended, I have; what I gave away, I have."

"What we say of a thing that has just come in fashion And that which we do with the dead, Is the name of the honestest man in the nation: What more of a man can be said?"

"Qui nullum fere scribendi genus non tetigit; nullum quod tetigit non ornavit."

"And many a holy text around she strews That teach the rustic moralist to die."

"Balnea, vina, Venus corrumpunt corpora nostra; Sed vitam faciunt baldea, vina, Venus."

"Beneath these green trees rising to the skies, The planter of them, Isaac Greentree, lies; The time shall come when these green trees shall fall, And Isaac Greentree rise above them all."

"His foe was folly and his weapon wit."

"Farewell, vain world, I've had enough of thee, And Valies't not what thou Can'st say of me; Thy Smiles I count not, nor thy frowns I fear, My days are past, my head lies quiet here. What faults you saw in me take Care to shun, Look but at home, enough is to be done."

"Man's life is like unto a winter's day, Some break their fast and so depart away, Others stay dinner then depart full fed; The longest age but sups and goes to bed. Oh, reader, then behold and see, As we are now so must you be."

"But here's the sunset of a tedious day. These two asleep are; I'll but be undrest, And so to bed. Pray wish us all good rest."

"Here she lies a pretty bud, Lately made of flesh and blood; Who, as soone fell fast asleep, As her little eyes did peep. Give her strewings, but not stir The earth that lightly covers her."

"Under the shadow of a leafy bough That leaned toward a singing rivulet, One pure white stone, whereon, like crown on brow, The image of the vanished star was set; And this was graven on the pure white stone In golden letters—"WHILE SHE LIVED SHE SHONE.""

"The hand of him here torpid lies, That drew th' essential form of grace, Here closed in death th' attentive eyes That saw the manners in the face."

"Sleep undisturbed within this peaceful shrine, Till angels wake thee with a note like thine."

"Underneath this stone doth lie As much beauty as could die; Which in life did harbor give To more virtue than doth live. If at all she had a fault, Leave it buried in this vault."

"Underneath this sable herse Lies the subject of all verse,— Sydneye's sister, Pembroke's mother. Death, ere thou hast slaine another, Faire and learn'd and good as she, Tyme shall throw a dart at thee."

"Here lies one whose name was writ in water."

"I conceive disgust at these impertinent and misbecoming familiarities inscribed upon your ordinary tombstone."

"Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone; reported in Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922), p. 232."

"I strove with none, for none was worth my strife; Nature I loved, and after Nature, Art; I warmed both hands before the fire of life; It sinks, and I am ready to depart."

"British Soldier, in Westminster Abbey"

"Ayrton Senna (Extracted from the Holy Bible)"

"Gracie Allen and George Burns (themselves)"

"Susan B. Anthony (unknown)"

"Robert Baden-Powell (by himself) 1857 - 1941"

"Clyde Barrow (unknown) - 1909 - 1934"

"Hilaire Belloc (unknown) - 1870 - 1953"

"John Belushi (unknown) - 1949 - 1982"

"Jakob Bernoulli (by himself) - 1654-1705"

"EPITAPH, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect."

"Mel Blanc (by himself) - 1908 - 1989"

"William Bligh (unknown) - 1754 - 1817"

"Ludwig Boltzmann (by himself) - 1844-1906"

"John Brown (unknown)"

"Charles Bukowski (by himself)"

"Samuel Butler (by Samuel Wesley) - 1612-1680"

"Al Capone (by himself)"

"George Carlin (suggested by himself)"

"Andrew Carnegie (unknown)"

"Karen Carpenter (unknown)"

"George Washington Carver (unknown)"

"Brian Cawley (by himself)"

"Anton Cermak (by himself)"