"Kim: She seemed a little suspicious to me! Of course...I only met her one night...and I was pretty drunk. But I'm not the one that had mystery sex with her, right Rae?"

"Max: This calls for the best of whatever cheap alcohol we have in the fridge!"

"Lydia: This manager things is fun! I'm getting paid to be all bitchy!"

"Forrest: Don't be silly. I don't mind when girls kiss me. It's like free samples of something I would never buy."

"Emily: The unashamed humping like rabbits can commence!"

"Max: I mean, what's next? By the way, Max, I'm a robot! Max, I'm a Russian spy!"

"Alli: Sure! If you like manipulating psychopaths...Which, you probably do."

"Damion: What petty drama virus has infected your veins?"

"Alli: You've transcended from the angry to the absurd. Congratulations!"

"Tommy: If nothing else, you'll get a cult following of black-clad depressed kids."

"Max: To know her is to love her...to love her is to go quite bonkers."

"Emily: Oh Chip, I'm so sorry...I know you were very enamored with Naomi."

"Max: Hmm, my left butt cheek is asleep, but the other isn't...weird."

"Chip: What is it you want, oh great Couch-God?"

"Max: It's my turn to flashback. Be patient!"

"Emily: Just for reference, this is is my happy face."

"Rob: Would you stop using film terminology for sex talk?!"

"Max: Of course I'll do fine. I'm worried about what tie I'm going to wear."

"Chip: Working on villain lines again?"

"Max: Whenever I hope women will change, they just end up disappearing."

"Max: How would you like to be our promotional gimp?"

"Alli: I think I just had a nerdgasm."

"Willy: Of course you realize that you have to tell me all about how he is in bed?"

"Trevor: It's a passive aggressive revenge, for sure."

"Rebecca: This is just silly. You can't train cats to do tricks."

"Trevor: If I have to deal with my "Daddy Issues", I might as well take advantage of the perks."

"Jon: This is all the squirrel mafia's fault."

"Candi: I'm sorry. Would you like to squish a marshmallow?"

"Candi: Have you tried to apologize?"

"Rebecca: I don't have death fangs...claws maybe."

"Laura: They're called breasts, and they are far more powerful than these IDs you speak of."

"Candi: You can't wear that now. The sexy police will show up."

"Tuck: Ironic coincidences happen all the time to adventurers."

"Thaco: I don't mind dying, but having to wait for it like this is torture. It's taking forever. Like watching paint dry in hell."

"Sergeant Marwood: I don't want to hear anyone bitching about having to shovel the minotaur crap!"

"Fumbles: I declare my dodge on you!!"

"Asks Nonsense: As a blind goblin, how do you know when to stop wiping your ass?"

"Forgath: Watch it, you hill giant's ass hair!"

"Saral Caine: How many times do I have to kill you before you die!?"

"Young-and-Beautiful: For countless generations we have done things a certain way. We can't just do everything differently now because it "makes sense"."

"Minmax: The oversensitive Dungeon Master strikes again."

"Captain Dellyn Goblinslayer: Do you know what makes someone legendary? It's how badly your enemies want to kill you."