Webcomics

"Dora: I'll just start you a tab!"

"Bubbles: I appreciate your understanding. However, must you refer to me as "Bubs"?"

"Faye: Well, you wouldn't let me call you Miss Bubbles, you vetoed Palkyrie, and you audibly growled at "Large Metal Friend.""

"Claire: Are you two making bear puns without me? Ursa-cha couple of jerks!"

"Jim: I've never seen anybody eat a dozen croissants, let alone that quickly."

"Clinton: I guess I shouldn't be worried about someone who threatened me with a harpoon being too polite to call me a creep."

"Brun: We have established a healthy baseline for our relationship."

"May: C'mon, like you never thought of boning down with a human."

"Momo: I HAVE NOT. In such crude terms."

"May: Aw, we're friends? I thought you were just puttin' up with me 'cuz Dale is boinking Marigold!"

"Momo: It is either friendship, or a pathological need for suffering on my part."

"May: I'll take either one!"

"Claire: Don't mind me! I'm just sitting here drinking a mocha and not meddling in your affairs!"

"Faye [to Hannelore]: You would be the worst burglar ever. Breakin' into people's houses and rearranging their bookshelves."

"Faye: Pretty sure life in prison would be safer than you havin' a grudge against me."

"Bubbles: That is not what I meant, but you make a fair point."

"Renee: You're thinking thoughts again. Stop it."

"Elliot: It's my brain and I'll use it how I want."

"May: For what it's worth, I think you're all right. I hope you and Bubbles make up and have a million babies or whatever."

"Faye: How would that even work?"

"May: I dunno, Pokemon meets The Fly? I ain't a fuckin' robiologist."

"Faye: Also if you decide "fuck it" and compact Corpse Witch into a cube, I'll be your alibi."

"Bubbles: Let us consider that "plan C"."

"Spookybot: You know that old adage about how androids dream of electric sheep? We're what wakes them up screaming."

"Faye: Bubbes, this is crazy. Think about what happened last time you let some rando AI mess around in your head!"

"Bubbles: Consider that this person was able to render Dora and Emily unconscious without our noticing, and disable you with a touch. If they wished to do me harm, they would have done so already."

"Spookybot: Unless we got particular pleasure out of fooling you into agreeing with it first."

"Faye: See?"

"Bubbles: Faye. If you are correct and this ends badly, know that your friendship was the sole source of joy in the final part of my existence. It has been an honor."

"Faye: You're a fucking asshole."

"Spookybot: Indisputably."

"Emily: I'm in front of a door with a big lock on it."

"Spookybot: That would be the representation of the partitioned sector. Use the comically oversized key."

"Faye: A little on the nose, isn't it?"

"Spookybot: When you create an immersive virtual environment and an incomprehensibly powerful decryption algorithm, you can make them look however you want."

"Spookybot: Blast. It is as Ms. Azuma said. Whether through malice or incompetence, Corpse Witch simply deleted the data and and encrypted the resulting hole. Those memories are lost forever."

"Faye: Hang the fuck on. All we got is your word about this."

"Emily: Faye, I was in there too! It was empty!"

"Spookybot: To be honest, Ms. Whitaker has a point. It is entirely within our ability to subvert this situation for our own purposes. One of the very few downsides of being as powerful as we are is there are no credentials of benevolence we could not falsify. However, consider this: When Bubbles wakes, she will be utterly vulnerable. She will need love, support, and compassion. We are leaving her in your care. Farewell."

"Bubbles [to Corpse Witch]: I could rip you apart, tear out your mind substrate, and crush it to dust in my hands. There is nothing you could do to stop me."

"[Bubbles chokes Corpse Witch off the floor.]"

"Bubbles: I choose not to."

"Faye: Now let's go get a pizza. It's the traditional offering for a new roomie to give to the current tenants."

"Bubbles: I see. Do the different topics hold symbolic importance?"

"Faye: We're an interfaith household. Marty doesn't like olives, but I do."

"Tortura [to Cosette, re: Steven]: And you. Be nice to zis man. He saved me from robot shark. Was goink to bite my whole body off. You break his heart, I find you. Feed you to pigs."

"Cosette: o-okay"

"Faye: Unless I'm mistaken, the two of us have a credit rating someplace between "haha no" and "we wouldn't trust you with a houseplant.""

"Bubbles: I have a houseplant, now. Arthur can vouch for my trustworthiness."

"Faye: Alert the banks."