"(Naomi is making her "Famous International Stew") The ingrediants are two cans of stew (pours in stew), canned peas (pours in peas), Mexican beans, (pours in beans) Ole! Saurkraut (pours in canned sauerkraut, saying in a deep voice) Ja Wohl! And for an Italian special (blows a kiss) Spaghetti- O's! (pours in Spaghetti-O's)"

"[To Thelma] NOW who's the tramp!"

"(after an unkind remark by Ellen) I'm gonna break your teeth Ellen, pass 'em over!"

"(to Eunice) You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the butt!"

"(to snobbish Nita Peterson) Nita, you've got a lot of class for a dame with a rip in her drawers!"

"Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just lovin' this!"

"(to Naomi) Your idea of a workout includes a man, a bed, and a cigarette afterwards!"

"Eunice, what a sweet thought. No wonder I love you best. You were my third born and you are my favorite. Third time's the charm."

"Naomi, What a sweet thought. No wonder I love you best. You're like the daughter I never had."

"Ellen, what a sweet thought. No wonder I love you best. You were my first born and you are my favorite. Should have quit while I was ahead."

"I swear, I can't understand why they don't hold these church bazaars in the dead of winter when people can stand to be in their kitchens!"

"(to Iola) Get out, you jokin' jackass!"

"I only drove one time in my life--1946. I started out with a sedan and I came back with a convertible!"

"Uhh-ohhhhh!"

"Jane Kaczmarek - Lois"

"Frankie Muniz - Malcolm"

"Daniel von Bargen - Commandant Edwin Spangler"

"Eric Nenninger - Eric Hanson"

"Emy Coligado - Piama Tananahaakna"

"David Anthony Higgins - Craig Feldspar"

"Craig Lamar Traylor - Stevie Kenarban"

"Cloris Leachman - Grandma Ida"

"James Rodriguez and Lukas Rodriguez - Jamie"

"Christopher Kennedy Masterson - Francis"

"Erik Per Sullivan - Dewey"

"Justin Berfield - Reese"

"Bryan Cranston - Hal"

"Rob Reiner as Michael "Meathead" Stivic"

"Carroll O'Connor as Archie Bunker"

"All in the Family Quotes and and Archie Bunker-isms"

"Betty Garrett as Irene Lorenzo"

"Sherman Hemsley as George Jefferson"