"Well this sure has buggered your plans for conquering the world, eh? Hehe... my friend, the astro-bastard, time for talkies. By the time my colleagues get here I want to have you babbling in some extra-terrestrial language!"

"What are you dirty hooers doing on my planet?"

"The headshot's the only true stopper."

"Stay where you are then, and I'll give you an eye witness description of this, intergalactic wanker!"

"I'm a Derek. Dereks don't run!"

"Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"

"Stick all the bits of brain in a plastic bag, Barry."

"Charles Lee Jr. - Nipples"

"Doug Isbecque - Knuckles"

"Dan Snow - Cigar Face"

"David Weiss - Chief Of Police"

"Chris Liano - Walter Harris"

"Dick Martinsen - Officer O'Clancy"

"Mark Torgl - Melvin Junko"

"Pat Ryan - Mayor Belgoody"

"Gary Schneider - Bozo"

"Robert Prichard - Slug"

"Cindy Manion - Julie"

"Jennifer Babtist - Wanda"

"Mitch Cohen - The Toxic Avenger"

"He was 98 lbs. of solid nerd until he became...The Toxic Avenger"

"The first Super-Hero... from New Jersey!"

"Melvin was a 90lb. weakling until nuclear waste transformed him into...The Toxic Avenger"

"Sara: Why, Melvin, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. You're so muscular. It's been two years since I've touched a man."

"Frank: Now if you all do just what we tell you, you just might, just might, get ya asses home all intact."

"Look what we've got here. A little mother and a littler baby. You like Mexican food, little baby? [points his gun at the baby] Well, how would you like to have this hot tamale shoved down your throat?"

"Hey Frank, teeny-boppers! You like video games, teeny-boppers? Your mom give you quarters for video games? Well, cough 'em up!"

"All right everybody, drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out!"

"I owe you for the other night, monster faggot! So now we're gonna give you six new assholes. Compliments of me, Cigar Face!"

"Honest cops are all alike. A bunch of fuckin' faggots!"

"[to the Mayor] You fat slob! Let's see if you've got any guts. [he punches the mayor in the stomach and rips out his guts] Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste."

"[as he kills Mrs. Haskell] Hohohoho. No ticky, no washy!"

"David Thewlis - Edward Douglas"

"William Hootkins - Kiril"

"We are NOT men!"

"[After Douglas offers to find a way to stop the regression to animals] No. No more scientists, no more laboratories, no more experiments. I thought you would be able to understand that. We have to be what we are, not what the Father tried to make us. To go on two legs... is very hard. Perhaps four is better, anyway."

"It is a hard way, the way of being a man. Sooner or later we all want a thing that is bad. To walk on all fours. To suck up drink from a stream. To jabber, instead of saying the words. To go snuffling at the earth, and to claw on the bark of trees. To eat flesh, or fish. To make love to more than one, every which way. These are all bad things. These are not the things that men do. But we are men, are we not? We are men because the Father has made us men!"

"[Imitating Dr. Moreau] And though I give my body to be burned and have not charity, I am nothing. And though... I give all my gifts to feed the poor, and though l give my body to be burned, and have not charity, I am nothing."

"[Imitating Dr. Moreau] I destroyed the serum. All of it."

"[Gone insane. Imitating Dr. Moreau] Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged. And with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye. Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam that is in thine own eye and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote of thy brother's eye. Neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet... and then, give not that which is holy unto the dogs."

"[When Edward attempts to use a radio for help] Who do you think you're going to call, hmm? What are you going to say when you get someone on the horn? "Mayday, mayday, I'm being held by a pig lady"?"

"[On Dr. Moreau] Animal rights activists drove him out of the States. Got so bad, you couldn't cage a rat without reading him his rights."

"I have almost achieved perfection you see, of a divine creature that is pure, harmonious, absolutely incapable of malice. And if in my tinkering I have fallen short of the human form by the snout, claw or hoof, it really is of no great importance. I am closer that you could possibly imagine sir."

"[closing lines] This is a true record of what I saw. I set it down only leaving out the longitude and latitude of the island, as a warning to all who would follow in Moreau's footsteps. Most times, I keep the memory far in the back of my mind, a distant cloud. But there are times when the little cloud spreads, until it obscures the sky. At those times, I look about me at my fellow men and am reminded of some likeness to the beast-people. And I feel as though the animal is surging up in them, and they are neither wholly animal nor wholly man, but an unstable combination of both. As unstable as anything Moreau created. And I go... in fear."