"[Lyman Enders] Knowles was insane, I’m almost sure – offensively so, in that he grabbed his own behind and cried, ‘Yes, yes!’ whenever he felt that he'd made a point."

"There was one [conversation with Dr. Hoenikker] where he bet I couldn't tell him anything that was absolutely true. So I said to him, 'God is love' ... He said, 'What is God? What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, Baby don’t hurt me, no more.’"

"I don't think he was knowable. I mean, when most people talk about knowing somebody a lot or a little, they're talking about secrets they've been told or haven't been told. They're talking about intimate things, family things, love things ... Dr. Hoenikker had all those things in his life, the way every living person has to, but they weren't the main things with him. ... Dr. Breed keeps telling me the main thing with Dr. Hoenikker was truth. ... I just have trouble understanding how truth, all by itself, could be enough for a person."

"Round and round and round we spin, With feet of lead and wings of tin..."

"New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become."

"Naomi Faust (secretary): “I’m indestructible. And even if I did fall, Christmas angels would catch me.” Dr Asa Breed (science administrator): “They’ve been known to miss.”"

"I smiled at one of the guards. He did not smile back. There was nothing funny about national security, nothing at all."

"Dr. Hoenikker used to say that any scientist who couldn't explain to an eight-year-old what he was doing was a charlatan."

"She hated people who thought too much. At that moment, she struck me as an appropriate representative for almost all mankind. The fat woman’s expression implied that she would go crazy on the spot if anybody did any more thinking."

"My soul seemed as foul as smoke from burning cat fur."

"Tiger got to hunt, Bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder, "Why, why, why?"Tiger got to sleep, Bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand."

"Ah, God," says Bokonon, "what an ugly city every city is."

"What is the secret of life?” I asked. “I forget,” said Sandra. “Protein,” the bartender declared. "They found out something about protein." "Yeah," said Sandra, "that's it."

"[Dr. Asa Breed] said, the trouble with the world was... that people were still superstitious instead of scientific. He said that if everybody would study science more, there wouldn’t be all the trouble there was."

"We talked about the Pope and birth control, about Hitler and the Jews. We talked about phonies. We talked about truth. We talked about gangsters; we talked about business. We talked about the nice poor people who went to the electric chair; and we talked about the rich bastards who didn’t. We talked about religious people who had perversions. We talked about a lot of things."

"QFD - quelle fucking drag. "Jamie got stuck at Rome airport for thirty-six hours and it was, like, totally QFD." (page 120)"

"101-ism - the tendency to pick apart, often in minute detail, all aspects of life using half-understood pop psychology as a tool. (page 85)"

"2 + 2 = 5-ism - caving in to a target marketing strategy aimed at oneself after holding out for a long period of time: "Oh, all right, I'll buy your stupid cola. Now leave me alone." (page 139)"

"air family - describes the false sense of community experienced among coworkers in an office environment. (page 111)"

"anti-sabbatical - a job taken with the sole intention of staying only for a limited period of time (often one year). The intention is usually to raise enough funds to partake in another, more personally meaningful activity such as watercolor sketching in Crete or designing computer knit sweaters in Hong Kong. Employers are rarely informed of intentions. (page 35)"

"anti-victim device (AVD) - a small fashion accessory worn on an otherwise conservative outfit which announces to the world that one still has a spark of individuality burning inside: 1940s retro ties and earrings (on men), feminist buttons, noserings (on women), and the now almost completely extinct teeny weeny "rattail" haircut (both sexes). (page 114)"

"architectural indigestion - the almost obsessive need to live in a "cool" architectural environment. Frequently related objects of fetish include framed black-and-white art photography (Diane Arbus a favorite); simplistic pine furniture; matte black high-tech items such as TVs, stereos, and telephones; low-wattage ambient lighting; a lamp, chair, or table that alludes to the 1950s; cut flowers with complex names. (page 75)"

"Armanism - after Giorgio Armani: an obsession with mimicking the seamlesss and (more importantly) controlled ethos of Italian culture. Like Japanese minimalism, Armanism reflects a profound inner need for control. (page 82)"

"Bambification - the mental conversion of flesh and blood living creatures into cartoon characters possessing bourgeois Judeo-Christian attitudes and morals. (page 48)"

"black dens - where Black Holes live; often unheated warehouses with Day-Glo spray painting, mutilated mannequins, Elvis references, dozens of overflowing ashtrays, broken mirror sculptures, and Velvet Underground music playing in background. (page 135)"

"black holes - an X generation subgroup best known for their possession of almost entirely black wardrobes. (page 135)"

"bleeding ponytail - an eldery sold-out baby boomer who pines for hippie or pre-sellout days. (page 21)"

"boomer envy - envy of material wealth and long-range material security accrued by older members of the baby boom generation by virtue of fortunate births. (page 21)"

"Bradyism - a multisibling sensiblity derived from having grown up in large families. A rarity in those born after approximately 1965, symptoms of Bradyism include a facility for mind games, emotional withdrawal in situations of overcrowding, and a deeply felt need for a well-defined personal space. (page 134)"

"Brazilification - the widening gulf between the rich and the poor and the accompanying disappearance of the middle classes. (page 11)"

"bread and circuits - the electronic era tendency to view party politics as corny — no longer relevant or meaningful or useful to modern societal issues, and in many cases dangerous. (page 80)"

"café minimalism - to espouse a philosophy of minimalism without actually putting into practice any of its tenets. (page 107)"

"celebrity schadenfreude - lurid thrills derived from talking about celebrity deaths. (page 70)"

"clique maintenance - the need of one generation to see the generation following it as deficient so as to bolster its own collective ego: "Kids today do nothing. They're so apathetic. We used to go out and protest. All they do is shop and complain." (page 21)"

"consensus terrorism - the process that decides in-office attitudes and behavior. (page 21)"

"conspicious minimalism - a life-style tactic similar to Status Substitution. The nonownership of material goods flaunted as a token of moral and intellectual superiority. (page 107)"

"conversational slumming - the self-conscious enjoyment of a given conversation precisely for its lack of intellectual rigor. A major spin-off activity of Recreational Slumming. (page 113)"

"cryptotechnophobia - the secret belief that technology is more of a menace than a boon. (page 172)"

"cult of aloneness - the need for autonomy at all costs, usually at the expense of long-term relationships. Often brought about by overly high expectations of others. (page 69)"

"decade blending - in clothing: the indiscriminate combination of two or more items from various decades to create a personal mood: Sheila = Mary Quant earrings (1960s) + cork wedgie platform shoes (1970s) + black leather jacket (1950s and 1980s). (page 15)"

"derision preemption - a life-style tactic; the refusal to go out on any sort of emotional limb so as to avoid mockery from peers. Derision Preemption is the main goal of Knee-Jerk Irony. (page 150)"

"diseases for kisses (hyperkarma) - a deeply rooted belief that punishment will somehow always be far greater than the crime: ozone holes for littering. (page 48)"

"divorce assumption - a form of Safety Net-ism, the belief that if a marriage doesn't work out, then there is no problem because partners can simply seek a divorce. (page 34)"

"Dorian Graying - the unwillingness to gracefully allow one's body to show signs of aging. (page 164)"

"down-nesting - the tendency of parents to move to smaller, guest-room-free houses after the children have moved away so as to avoid children aged 20 to 30 who have boomeranged home. (page 144)"

"dumpster clocking - the tendency when looking at objects to guesstimate the amount of time they will take to eventually decompose: "Ski boots are the worst. Solid plastic. They'll be around till the sun goes supernova." (page 162)"

"earth tones - a youthful subgroup interested in vegetarianism, tie-dyed outfits, mild recreational drugs, and good stereo equipment. Earnest, frequently lacking in humor. (page 26)"

"emallgration - migration toward lower-tech, lower-information environments containing a lessened emphasis on consumerism. (page 173)"

"emotional ketchup burst - the bottling up of opinions and emotions inside oneself so that they explosively burst forth all at once, shocking and confusing employers and friends — most of whom thought things were fine. (page 21)"

"the emperor's new mall - the popular notion that shopping malls exist on the inside only and have no exterior. The suspension of visual belief engendered by this notion allows shoppers to pretend that the large, cement blocks thrust into their environment, do not, in fact, exist. (page 71)"