"In the words of Marcel Proust; and this applies to any woman in the world. if you can stay up and listen with a fair degree of attention to whatever garbage, no matter how stupid it is, that they're coming out with, till ten minutes past four in the morning, you're in!"

"There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas; I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising."

"It's the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"

"[while bargaining for Stanley's soul] What would you like to be? Prime Minister? Oh, no, wait, I've already signed that deal."

"The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there."

"Suicide, really - that's the last thing you should try."

"You realize that suicide's a criminal offence. In less enlightened times, they'd have hung you for it."

"And the magic word: Julie Andrews!"

"What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages."

"[to the pigeon, who is about to fly over a gentleman] Release your doo-dahs."

"[walking in on Stanley Moon's failed attempt scuicide] Do hope this isn't an awkward moment."

"(to Bob) I told you to get the satellite TV. But you didn't want to listen."

"(to Michael) Now I'm sure you don't want to go spilling blood for no good reason, in front of all these decent people."

"(to Jeep) SHOOT HER, JEEP! (Gladys Foster: You will never save her.) SHOOT THE BITCH! SHOOT HER!"

"(to Michael) Alright, Rambo. You got us up here. You mind telling us what we're fighting?"

"I'm following my own orders now."

"There's a safety switch on the side of your weapon, Push it all the way down. Two clicks. Now when this starts, you hold on tight. Otherwise you're gonna blow your hand off."

"We need to figure out our weapon situation. Hopefully Michael didn't take everything out of the car."

"It's starting... There isn’t much time."

"When I was a little girl, my mother would remind me each night before bed to open up my heart to God, for he was kind, merciful and just. Things changed when my father left a few years later, leaving her to raise me and my brothers in a place on the edge of the Mojave Desert. She never talked of a kind, merciful God again. Instead she spoke of a prophecy. Of a time when all the world would be covered in darkness and the fate of Mankind would be decided. One night I finally got up the courage to ask my mother why God had changed, why he was so mad at his children. "I don't know," she said, tucking the covers around me, "I guess he just got tired of all the bullshit.""

"You got to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, Jeep."

"Who would be crazy enough to steal a cop car?"

"When God chose your kind as the object of His love, I was the first in all of heaven to bow down before you. My love, my hope for mankind was no less than His. But I have watched you trample that gift. I have watched you kill each other over race and greed... waging war over dust and rubble and the words in old books. And yet, in the midst of all this darkness, I see some people who will not be bowed. I see some people who will not give up, even when they know all hope is lost. Some people, who realize being lost is so close to being found. I see you, Jeep. Fifteen years old, your mother leaves. Your father withdraws from the world and you spend the next five years of your young life helping him find his way home. You love a woman who bears the child of another and you love her with no thought of yourself, even though you know she may never love you the way you love her. You, Jeep... you are the reason I still have faith."

"(to Jeep) Hey. Hood's up on this car. That mean anything to you?"

"(to Jeep) You know your mother thought I was crazy. For wanting to buy this place. It's all the way up here, in the middle of nowhere, But I just knew it was something I had to do. I couldn't explain it either. Just like you."

"(about Gladys) I can't believe she was still standing after Percy hit her with that frying pan."

"(to Molly) I'm not trying to control your life."

"Sweetie, you're not crazy."

"You have always belonged to us... Welcome. We've been waiting."

"Jessica Lowndes - Laurel Miller"

"Randy Wayne - Michael"

"Jamie McShane - Father Ron Canada & Mr. Bennett"

"Josh Stewart - Mr. Draper"

"Marin Hinkle - Jane Hartley"

"Nina Siemaszko - Dr. Emerson"

"Kevin Cooney - Dr. Donaldson"

"Jake Weber - Robert Hartley"

"Shannon Woodward - Leah"

"Haley Bennett - Molly Hartley"

"Chace Crawford - Joseph Young"

"Molly?... Molly?... I know who you are, Molly!"

"Laurel: (crying as she is hurt) Daddy. I-I don't understand."

"Shanna Collins - Alexis White"

"Mr. Miller: (to Laurel after killing her) I couldn't let you turn 18. I couldn't let them take you."

"People make fun of me because I'm on scholarship, not that it's any of their business. And some people are offended because I have close personal relationship with Jesus."

"(to Molly) I pray for you every night."

"(to Molly) I know what you are!"

"Where's she going?"

"Molly?... Molly?... Molly?... Molly?... Molly?... Molly?... Where are you?"