"Ladies and gentlemen! Don't take this play serious. The world's not coming to an end. You know it's not. People exaggerate! Most people really have enough to eat and a roof over their heads. Nobody actually starves--you can always eat grass or something. ... Savages don't love their families--not like we do."

"The Ten Commandments. Faugh!!--That's the worst line I've ever had to say on any stage."

"Booby, pass the sandwiches."

"Two weeks, that's the law."

"Mrs. Antrobus, I'm taking back my notice. Mrs. Antrobus, I wouldn't want to leave a house that receives such interesting telegrams!"

"Gladys Antrobus, what's that red stuff on your face?! You're a detestable child! Get away from me, both of you! I never want to see sight nor sound of you!"

"The dinosaur is extinct; the ice has retreated; and the common cold is being pursued by every means within our power."

"I give you the watchword for the future: Enjoy Yourselves."

"Who can tell your past,--eh? Nobody!"

"One of those black disks means bad weather; two means storm; three means hurricane; and four means the end of the world."

"Just a moment. I have something I wish to say to the audience.--Ladies and gentlemen. I'm not going to play this particular scene tonight. It's just a short scene and we're going to skip it."

"I have a letter...and in the letter is written all the things that a woman knows. It's never been told to any man and it's never been told to any woman, and if it finds its destination, a new time will come. We're not what books and plays say we are. We're not what advertisements say we are. We're not in the movies and we're not on the radio."

"And I'm sorry to say we'll need a short rehearsal, just a short run-through. And as some of it takes place in the auditorium, we'll have to keep the curtain up."

"I don't know how to say it, but the enemy is Henry; Henry is the enemy."

"How can you make a world for people to live in, unless you've first put in order yourself?"

"It's not wholly his fault that he wants to strangle me in this scene. It's my fault, too."

"I've never forgotten for long at a time that living is struggle. I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for — whether it's a field, or a home, or a country."

"...I didn't make this war. I didn't ask for it. And, in my opinion, after everybody's gone through what they've gone through, they have a right to grab what they can find. You're a very nice man, Mr. Antrobus, but you'd have got on better in the world if you'd realized that dog-eat-dog was the rule in the beginning and always will be."

"[To the audience] This is where you came in. We have to go on for ages and ages yet. You go home. The end of this play isn't written yet."

"Pennywise: I am her mother. All:[Gasp]. Pennywise: And she is my daughter!. All: [Bigger Gasp]."

"Old Man Strong: Bobby! Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning. Tiny Tom: No shorter than yesterday. Unless I've grown."

"Hope: "Gosh, Daddy, I never realized large, monopolizing corporations could be such a force for good in the world!" Mr. Cladwell: "Few do.""

"Hope: "Do you think you'd be feeling as bad as you do if you didn't have a heart?" Bobby: "I don't know. I suppose not." Hope: "Of course you wouldn't. Because then you'd be dead!""

"Mr. Cladwell: [to Hope] "Don't be the bunny!""

"Senator Fipp: "You're a good girl, Hope. I used to be one, before your father got to me." Hope: "You were a good girl?" Senator Fipp: "You heard me.""

"Bobby: "We will look into the faces of our fellow man and see not only a brother, (To Tiny Tom) But a sister as well." Tiny Tom:"What's that supposed to mean?""

"Mr. McQueen: "Ms. Cladwell! What an unexpected surprise!" Hope: "Is there any other kind?""

"Little Sally: "(Say Officer Lockstock, is this where you tell the audience about the water shortage?)" Officer Lockstock: "What's that Little Sally?" LS: "You know, the water shortage. The hard times. The drought. A shortage so awful that private toilets eventually became unthinkable. A premise so absurd that. . ." OL: "Whoa, there Little Sally. Not all at once. They'll hear more about the water shortage in the next scene." LS: "Oh, I guess you don't want to overload them with too much exposition, huh." OL: "Everything in its time, Little Sally. You're too young to understand it now, but nothing can kill a show like too much exposition." LS: "How about bad subject matter?" OL: "Well-" LS: "Or a bad title, even? That could kill a show pretty good." OL: "Well Little Sally, suffice it to say that in Urinetown (the musical) everyone has to use public bathrooms in order to take care of their private business."

"[to Mrs. Mullin] "Put on a new coat of paint. You're startin' to peel, old pleasure-boat!" ~ Jigger Craigin"

"JUNE IS BUSTIN OUT ALL OVER ACT I"

"YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE ACT II"

""Simmer down now, Billy; you're forgettin' - here there *is* no time; this is the beginning and the end." ~ Starkeeper"

"'Tis my maxim, he's a fool that marries; but he's a greater that does not marry a fool."

"Women, as you say, are like soldiers made constant and loyal by good pay, rather than by oaths and covenants, therefore I'd advise my friends to keep rather than marry;"

"Methinks wit is more necessary than beauty, and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome / woman agreeable without it."

"A mistress should be like a little country retreat near the town, not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away; to taste the town the better when a man returns."

"Your Women of honour, as you call 'em, are only chary of their reputations, not their persons, / and 'tis scandal they would avoid, not men."

"[Squeamish, Dainty, and Lady Fidget have realized that that Horner is the secret lover of them all.]"

"[The china scene – The husband of Lady Fidget and the grandmother of Mrs. Squeamish are listening front stage and nodding in approval, failing to pick up the double entendre which is obvious to the audience.]"

"[The ladies' drinking scene ¬– The "brimmer" is a drinking cup passing from hand to hand.]"

"[The penknife scene]"

"[Mr. Pinchwife tells Mrs. Pinchwife of the pleasures of the town]"

"A beauty masked, like the sun in eclipse, Gathers together more gazers than if it shined out."