"Some parents just work at...I don't know...Microscoft (She mispronounced the word. She meant Microsoft) and just sit there at a desk and their kids have to sit at a desk, too and...I don't know!"

"Interviewer: Rachel, do you think performing is natural? Rachel: Mmmm. Tina: See, it's natural for Rachel because she's done it her whole life. Rachel: I know how to do it."

"We won 1st place and $500."

"My dad wrote a song about the people in the slides. I started playing harmonica. I was only six."

"My dad played in different clubs and open mic nights. But he mostly walked dogs. A lot of dogs."

"Hi. I'm Rachel Trachtenburg. I'm the daughter and the drummer for the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players."

"On learning to play new instruments (Teen Vogue)"

"I'm learning to play piano. And also the musical saw."

"They should call it the Low Quality Inn."

"As an adult, I think I wanna be living in New York City and help a lot of homeless people and try to become vegan and maybe be a band with some good friends and be making a living and be happy with how much money I have."

"Dad, this time you need to order smalls. You're always wrong about ordering. You always say we need mediums and larges, but girls like smalls."

"I like ABBA and the Beatles and Led Zeppelin. And E.L.O., and Funkadelic. Wait. Mommy, are they the same thing?"

"I like New York better than Seattle. It's bigger. I was really sad when I left, because I miss my friends, but I call them almost every day, and I have friends here now."

"No. I don't think so. I hope not."

"I like lots of color and mix-and-match."

"Christy Davis: Who do you look up to? Rachel: You mean, like a hero? Christy: Yeah, I guess. Someone you admire a lot. Rachel: A drummer? Christy: It can be anyone. Rachel: My mom."

"Rachel Trachtenburg: I really like the food at that place (Sidewalk Cafe). They have salads and pastas and stuff like that. What's your favorite food? Kimya Dawson: I like cherries. Rachel: That's a fruit. I said food. Kimya: Fruit's food. Rachel: You don't sit down and eat it. You don't eat it at a restaurant, like, "Oh, I'd like a fruit, please." You say, "I'd like a pizza please, or the pasta." Do you like Indian food? Mexican food? Italian food? Kimya: Japanese food. Rachel: Okay."

"I think bootlegging is kinda cool."

"I hope our DVD comes out better than this!"

"If I walk down the street in jeans and a plain t-shirt, I don’t feel like the world sees me as I want to be seen or as what I am."

"Stoosh over, daddy!"

"I like The Beatles and I like The Kinks and I like The Rolling Stones and I like Led Zeppelin and I like Black Sabbath."

"It's really fun and just to be with a friend while you're working really hard. It can sometimes be really stressful. Also it's just fun to have someone to laugh with and have a good time with."

"Forty-odd years ago, there was a countercultural moment, a brief, shining moment, as it were, when the eyes of a generation glimpsed the Eden beneath the veil. However fleeting was this paradise, or however harsh has been its repression, its light nonetheless inspired a rowdy cohort of artists to carry its torch into the future. Tom Robbins is one of these unruly pioneers, and his frequently bestselling novels are so saturated in an uncontainable joie de vivre that they have remained virtually required reading throughout the years and decades since their initial publication."

"When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on — series polygamy — until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimension to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."

"On the campus of Outlaw College, professors of essential insanities would characterize the conflicting attitudes of Nina Jablonski and Leigh-Cheri as indicative of a general conflict between social idealism and romanticism. As any of the learned professors would explain, plied with sufficient tequila, no matter how fervently a romantic might support a movement, he or she eventually must withdraw from active participation in that movement because the group ethic — the supremacy of the organization over the individual — is an affront to intimacy. Intimacy is the principal source of the sugars with which this life is sweetened. It is absolutely vital to the essential insanities."

"If this typewriter can't do it, then fuck it, it can't be done."

"Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem."

"I sense that novel of my dreams is in the Remington SL3 — although it writes much faster than I can spell."

"This baby (the Remington SL3 typewriter) speaks electric Shakespeare at the slightest provocation and will rap out a page and a half if you just look at it hard."

"There is a similarity between juggling and composing on the typewriter. The trick is, when you spill something, make it look like a part of the act."

"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature."

"Her surname resembled a line from an optometrist's examination chart."

"Hawaii made the mouth of her soul water."

"They'd be no threat to me. I have a black belt in Haiku. And a black vest in the cleaners."

"There are essential and inessential insanities. The latter are solar in character, the former are linked to the moon."

"Sharks are the criminals of the sea. Dolphins are the outlaws."

"She lunched on papaya poo poo or mango mu mu or some other fruity foo foo bursting with overripe tropical vowels."

"There are two kinds of people in this world : those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better."

"He looked at her with that kind of painted-on seriousness that comedians shift into when they get their chance to play Hamlet."

"The man and woman firmly shook hands. The solution to the overpopulation problem might rest in such handshakes."

"A better world has gotta start somewhere. Why not with you and me?"

"If you're honest, you sooner or later have to confront your values. Then you're forced to separate what is right from what is merely legal. This puts you metaphysically on the run. America is full of metaphysical outlaws."

"They snuggled closer, and when they were as close as they could get without being behind one another, they commenced to kiss again."

"This stuff's so fine Julius Caesar called for it with his dying breath. 'A toot, Brutus,' is what he said."

"Something has got to hold it together. I'm saying my prayers to Elmer, the Greek god of glue."

""I'll follow him to the ends of the earth," she sobbed. Yes, darling. But the earth doesn't have any ends. Columbus fixed that."

"A rabbi's dog could score pork chops in the streets of Tel Aviv easier than Bernard could acquire tequila in King County Jail."

"She tried out the chamber pot, although she really had nothing to contribute."

"Any half-awake materialist well knows — that which you hold holds you."