"I'm not the guy you kill, I'm the guy you buy! Are you so fucking blind that you don't even see what I am? I sold out Arthur for eighty grand and a three year contract. I'm the easiest part of your problem, and you're gonna kill me?"

"You're my meal ticket, Marty. If you leave, it's just me and Barry in a room, and I'm trying to explain what the hell it is I do around here."

"At this point, I would just like to say that what this committee is doing in theory is highly commendable. However, in practice, it sucks... and I'm not going to answer any more questions."

"Craig T. Nelson - Frank Bowers"

"Dominic Chianese - Carl Travers"

"Larry Bryggman - Warren Fresnell"

"Thomas Waites - Jeff McCullaugh"

"Robert Christian - Ralph Agee"

"Sam Levene - Arnie"

"Christine Lahti - Gail Packer"

"Jeffrey Tambor - Jay Porter"

"Lee Strasberg - Sam Kirkland"

"John Forsythe - Judge Henry T. Fleming"

"Jack Warden - Judge Francis Rayford"

"Al Pacino - Arthur Kirkland"

"Carl Travers: I haven't left the scene of the accident, I'm in it!"

"Jeff McCullaugh: If everybody agrees I'm innocent, how come I'm going BACK to jail?"

"Prison should be a frightening place. Let those criminals create their own hellhole....I tell you, Arthur, the idea of punishment to fit the crime doesn't work. We need unjust punishment. Hang somebody for armed robbery. Try it! We've got nothin' to lose. Do you understand what I'm sayin' to you, for God's sake? You don't, do you? Oh! You fellas with your fancy ideas of rehabilitation. I tell you that the concept of rehabilitation is a farce. Do you honestly think that, that bringing Johnny Cash into prisons to sing railroad songs is gonna rehabilitate anyone? Most people are sick and tired of mugging and crime in the streets...[Arthur leaves] Arthur? Arthur?"

"[After he fires a gun in his courtroom, to stop an argument] Gentlemen, need I remind you we are in a court of law? [long pause] Now, let's proceed in an orderly fashion."

"Sixteen years of marriage and my wife still won't eat Chinese food. It's crazy, especially since we met in a Chinese restaurant."

"Sorry, Your Honor. Let's get back to justice. What is justice? What is the intention of justice? The intention of justice is to see that the guilty people are proven guilty and that the innocent are freed. Simple, isn't it? Only it's not that simple. However, it is the defense counsel's duty to protect the rights of the individual, as it is the prosecution's duty to uphold and defend the laws of the State. Justice for all. Only we have a problem here. And you know what it is? Both sides wanna win. We wanna win. We wanna win regardless of the truth. And we wanna win regardless of justice, regardless of who's guilty or innocent. Winning is everything!"

"[about Judge Rayford] This is a man bent on killing himself! It's no secret; a guard found him in his chambers once trying to hang himself! This is a man who's making value decisions on people's lives!"

"[in court] There's a lot of things I didn't understand, a lot of things I'd do different if I could. Just like I think there's a lot of things you wish you could change, but we can't. Some things once they're done can't be undone. My wife, my ex-wife, says that she loves Billy, and I believe she does, but I don't think that's the issue here."

"For the last six months I've been spitting blood to get this agency one of the biggest account it's ever had. And at five o'clock this afternoon, we got the account. At eight o'clock, I am walking home with the vice president and tells me I'll be the next creative director of this department. I come through this door to share with my wife one of the five best days of my life, and she looks at me and tells me she doesn't want to live with me anymore! Can't you understand what she's done to me?"

"Jess Osuna – Ackerman"

"Jack Ramage – Spencer"

"Howland Chamberlain – Judge Atkins"

"Bill Moor – Gressen"

"JoBeth Williams – Phyllis Bernard (as Jobeth Williams)"

"George Coe – Jim O'Connor"

"Howard Duff – John Shaunessy"

"Justin Henry – Billy Kramer"

"Jane Alexander – Margaret Phelps"

"Meryl Streep – Joanna Kramer"

"Dustin Hoffman – Ted Kramer"

"Billy has a home with me. I've made it the best I could. It's not perfect. I'm not a perfect parent. Sometimes I don't have enough patience because I forget that he's a little kid. But I'm there. We get up in the morning and then we eat breakfast, and he talks to me and then we go to school. And at night, we have dinner together and we talk then and I read to him. And, and we built a life together and we love each other. If you destroy that, it may be irreparable. Joanna, don't do that, please. Don't do it twice to him."

"If I understand it correctly, what means the most here is what's best for our son. What's best for Billy. My wife used to always say to me: 'Why can't a woman have the same ambitions as a man?' I think you're right. And maybe I've learned that much. But by the same token, I'd like to know, what law is it that says that a woman is a better parent simply by virtue of her sex? You know, I've had a lot of time to think about what it is it that makes somebody a good parent? You know, it has to do with constancy, it has to do with patience, it has to do with listening to him. It has to do with pretending to listen to him when you can't even listen anymore. It has to do with love, like, like, like she was saying. And I don't know where it's written that it says that a woman has a corner on that market, that, that a man has any less of those emotions than a woman does."

"[having lunch with his boss] So the other morning, I'm at the refrigerator... you know, getting Billy ready for school. So I'm just in my underwear and he notices I've lost weight. And he comes in and pats me. He comes up to here... [touches his stomach]... and he says "Daddy, you've really lost a lot of weight", he looks up at me and he says "And it's all gone to your nose." [laughs] He was so cute. You know?"

"Jessica Cauffiel - Margot"

"Ruth Williamson - Madeline Kroft"

"Luke Wilson - Emmett Richmond"

"Bob Newhart - Sid Post"

"Bruce Thomas - UPS Guy"

"Stanley Anderson - Michael Blaine"

"J Barton - Timothy McGinn"

"Alanna Ubach - Serena McGuire"

"Mary Lynn Rajskub - Reena Giuliani"

"Dana Ivey - Congresswoman Libby Hauser"

"Bruce McGill - Stanford Marks"

"Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette"