"You're not my daddy, you disgusting hippie pig! And I wouldn't get near a bed that had been defiled by the likes of you two! I'd sooner jump in a river of snot!"

"I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls!"

"If I have to eat with Gator, I'll spit food!"

"Writing a book, hippie? Why don't you go listen to some folk music and give me a break!"

"[before being executed] I'd like to thank all the wonderful people that made this great moment in my life come true. My daughter Taffy, who died in order to further my career. My friends Chicklette and Concetta who should be here with me today. All the fans who died so fashionably and gallantly at my nightclub act. And especially all those wonderful people who were kind enough to read about me in the newspapers and watch me on the television news shows. Without all of you, my career could never have gotten this far. It was you that I murdered for and it is you that I will die for! Please remember, I love every fucking one of you!"

"I've DONE everything a mother can do: I've locked her in her room, I've beat her with the car aerial. Nothing changes her. It's HARD being a loving mother!"

"Davenport. Dawn Davenport! I'm a thief and a shitkicker, and, uh, I'd like to be famous."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to break the news to you, but I've thrown Gator out and started divorce proceedings. I don't want to seem overly bitter, but I want you to destroy all of his belongings."

"You're a pain, Taffy. A pain in my big asshole!"

"Where did you get this crap, Taffy? I told you to spend that money I gave you on a cute outfit, but ooooh-noooo! As soon as my back is turned, you run right out and spend it on props for your morbid little games! Well, I want it cleaned up pronto! We're having guests for dinner and I want you looking as P-R-E-T-T-Y as humanly possible!"

"[to Taffy] And remember, my offer still stands. If you get tired of being a Hare Krishna, you come live with me and be a lesbian!"

"Fucker! Pig fucker! Hetero! Filthy hetero stink-shit!"

"Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag."

"The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life."

"Elizabeth Coffey - Earnestine"

"Channing Wilroy - the prosecutor"

"Susan Lowe - Vikki"

"George Figgs - Dribbles"

"Paul Swift - Butterfly"

"Suzanne Sommers! This is my bad side!"

"Eugene Sutphin: [during sex with Beverly] Oh honey, you are hot tonight!"

"Chip Sutphin: [in response to Misty telling the family about her new love interest] You sure can pick 'em."

"Misty Sutphin: Chip! Our mother is Charles Manson!"

"Ralph Sterner: [while having teeth drilled] Help me Betty! He's worse than the dentist in the Marathon Man!"

"[after bludgeoning Mrs. Jenson] Rewind!"

"Are those... pussy willows?"

"[after murdering someone] I don't know what it is about today but I feel great!"

"Life doesn't have to be ugly. Look at the birds out there; listen to their call. [makes bird noises] Hwee, hwee, hwee, hwee."

"Marvin Pickles: There was a lady in the men's room, I swear! A pretty little lady, in the stall right next to me!"

"Police woman: Bingo boys, bust the bitch."

"Emma Lou Jenson: [talking to her dog] Come on, lick Mommy's feet. Get 'em all wet!"

"Every Mom Wants to Be Wanted, But Not For Murder One!"

"Officer, I'm sorry, but we don't allow gum in this house."

"Mrs. Jenson: [having to pay $1 extra to Chip for not rewinding the film] Keep the change you son of a psycho!"

"Detective: Proceed with caution; she is armed. And fuckin' nuts!"

"Patricia Hearst - Juror #8"

"Mink Stole - Dottie Hinkle"

"Patricia Dunnock - Birdie"

"Justin Whalin - Scotty Barnhill"

"Mary Jo Catlett - Rosemary Ackerman"

"Matthew Lillard - Chip Sutphin"

"Ricki Lake - Misty Sutphin"