First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Ian: Nice watch, gaywad..."
"Anthony: But there were babies in the road!"
"Ian: Hey, I was just kinda wondering... If you... WANNA PLAY DOLLS?"
"If you can find a part of my body that hasn't got hair on, I'll give you a cake."
"[During sketch] "Helen, you fierce tr*nny mess!""
"If your relationship's that open I'd like to stick my d*ck right in it!"
"[About posh honey] "Gather here bees, and shit on my toast!""
"[Discussing hymens] "An elephant's hymen... that must be thick and leathery.""
"[When discussing courgettes] "I like sweating my courgettes.""
"[e-mail jingle] "I've got a question/Then e-mail your question/To [email protected]" (repeats)"
"[After hearing Olly's theory, as Roy Walker] "It's good, but it's not the one!""
"[Discussing food] "Ginsters are horrible! You might as well just sh*t in a bap.""
"[About an anonymous person mentioned in a question]" "Let's give this boy a name, I dont know... Eugene!"
"[After being accused of not liking children] "I don't like babies. I like kids. Babies can f**k themselves.""
"[After being mocked for her pronunciation of 'penguins'] "Ping-guins, ping-guins, ping-guins! GET OVER IT! Let me live my life!""
"You are such a f*cking integer"
"[About the origins of the limo] "This car is stumpy, embiggen it for me!""
"[repeated insult] "You two are a pair of f**king balls.""
"[directed to Charlie from West Kirby during the '09 Eurovision live blog] "Charlie you wang house""
"[what one listener sings to the theme tune] "Helen and Olly, fondle my t*ts!""
"Rob Scallon as Superman, extras"
"Jose Vargas as Angry Joe"
"Brad Jones as The Cinema Snob"
"James Rolfe as The Angry Video Game Nerd"
"Lewis Lovhaug as Linkara"
"Brian Heinz as The Last Angry Geek"
"Tamara Chambers as Hyper Fangirl, Coke Mother, extras"
"Lindsay Ellis as The Nostalgia Chick"
"Rob Walker as Santa, Producer #2, M. Night Shyamalan (voice), Dr. Smith, the Other Guy, extras"
"Jim Jarosz as Kylo Ren, himself, extras"
"Bad touch!"
"Or do they?"
"Doug Walker as the Nostalgia Critic, Devil Boner, Smoking Father, Michael Bay, extras"
"Malcolm Ray as Satan, Producer #1, M. Night Shyamalan (body), himself, extras"
"I'm acting!"
"Bat Credit Card!"
"Zuul, motherfucker, Zuul!"
"You know, for kids!"
"Christmas!"
"A Big Lipped Alligator Moment!"
"A family picture!"
"Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!"
"The Nostalgia Critic/Season 19"
"I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!"
"The Nostalgia Critic/Season 17"
"The Nostalgia Critic/Season 16"
"The Nostalgia Critic/Season 18"
"Why top 11? Because I like to go one step beyond."
"Fucking bubbles!"
"The Nostalgia Critic/Season 12"