First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Hibernating animals"
"Pointless lists without punchlines. "Well that told me, Mr. Morrissey.""
"Magnifying mirrors"
"Fred Wedlock"
"The smell of parmesan"
"Glade Plug-ins"
"Loft lagging"
"Branston Pickle"
"Tony Wilson"
"Graeme Garden: "And there's Antony Worrall Thompson's crabs on ginger nuts!""
"Rob Brydon: "She's very good with ice-cream dishes, I'd like to see her lick the nuts off a large Neapolitan!""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "A nice alternative to caesar salad is caesar melons!""
"Barry Cryer: "Winkles in cider.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Balshazzar's Sandwich""
"Jack Dee: "Lean back and fillet.""
"Jeremy Hardy: "Coq in a vin.""
"Willie Rushton: (on James Bond books) "'Casino Royale' has now become 'Bingo with Princess Michael', 'Thunderball' is 'Drizzle Pillock', 'Dr. No' is 'First aid kit in the boot, possibly', and my favourite I think is 'Octopussy' has become 'Unipart'.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "EM Forster's 'A Passage to Islington'""
"Barry Cryer: "The Condom of the Opera""
"Graeme Garden: "The Chi-Hua-Hua of the Baskervilles""
"Willie Rushton: "Tadpole Dundee""
"Graeme Garden: "Gibbon's Decline & Fall of the Hackney Empire""
"Graeme Garden: "Moby Doris""
"Barry Cryer: "A full-bodied 69, you can keep your macon"."
"Harry Enfield: "Come and buy a lovely vape"
"Miles Jupp: "Good news about your application"
"Lucy Porter: "No matter if you're on the dole"
"Tony Hawks: "We look at your rectal issues"
"Rory Bremner: "Out of range the battery's dead"
"Marcus Brigstocke: "I don't know but I've been told"
"Marcus Brigstocke: "About my trips I always crow"
"Pippa Evans: "Standing watching all of you"
"Rory Bremner: "We're the police force, we solve crime"
"Gary Delaney: "Once on TV I was hot"
"Miles Jupp: "Oh, let's not be formal, just use your hands.""
"Miles Jupp: "I might just have to loosen my trousers and go for seconds.""
"Adrian Edmondson: "Sorry, I started without you.""
"Pippa Evans: [Whispering throughout] "Gentle parenting's the way"
"Harry Enfield: "We'll send you a massive bill"
"Andy Hamilton: "Toad in the hole. Then out of the hole, then in the hole, then out of the hole...""
"Adrian Edmondson: "But remember to chew every mouthful.""
"Miles Jupp: "Just ten more minutes, the meat really needs to rest.""
"Rachel Parris: "Don't check if it's done or it'll take longer!""
"Henning Wehn: "In some cultures it's polite to burp afterwards.""
"Miles Jupp: "I've put some little bowls out so you can clean your fingers.""
"Adrian Edmondson: "Smack the bottom really hard and see if anything comes out.""
"Adrian Edmondson: "Ooh, what a lovely spread.""
"Rachel Parris: "Shall I be mother?""
"Henning Wehn: "This is mostly crust!""
"Adrian Edmondson: "Oh, no! I think I left the giblets in!""