"Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you."

"Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls."

"Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. This is huge; it's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time."

"Fuck you Finch, you didn't eat shit OK, you didn't prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week. (Cadence appears) Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers aren't we? Well, you know what? I'm-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like "oh so good". It's gonna' be like "Do you like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!" Like... [sucking noise] Moo (Not amused Cadence)[sucking noise] Moo. [sucking noise] Moo. (Looks at Cadence) You been here long?"

"Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar"

"Suck my dick. Ron Jeremy"

"Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass" do you not under-fucking-stand?!"

"This sucks! [Kevin & Finch look at him] Did I say that out loud? [Whispers to Jim] Keep going, man. It's good."

"Save it, dickhead, I'm working."

"Hey, flower-fuckers, you there?!"

"Fine. Adios!"

"Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers. Well, you know what? Im-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like oh so good. And I'm gonna' be like "You like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!""

"Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister."

"It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and I'm gonna rock out with my cock out."

"Told ya that guy wanted to fuck me."

"Happy "Fuck Day", Ass Mouth! What happened to my invite? Get lost in the mail, Fuckface?"

"Congratulation, Jism!"

"Gee, thanks for inviting me to the graduation party, fucker."

"If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to."

"Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake."

"Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bangkok!"

"My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls. Hey Finch, you want this for here or to go?"

"It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch."