First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Timothy Simons as Stephan"
"Annie Mumolo as Helen Kreagan"
"Cedric Yarbrough as Tito"
"Cecily Strong as Dana Dandridge"
"Kristen Schaal as Sandy, the leader of the Dandelions, who is pompously berated by Helen."
"Ben Falcone as Marty"
"Margo Martindale as Sister Agnes Aluminata"
"Kathy Bates as Ida Marquette"
"I tried a Dorito for the first time last night. It wasn't cheese. It was... cheese adjacent, but not cheese. It was really good!"
"Ella Anderson as Rachel Rawlings"
"Kristen Bell as Claire Rawlings"
"Tyler Labine as Mike Beals"
"Peter Dinklage as Ronald/Renault"
"Let's watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre!"
"Melissa McCarthy as Michelle Darnell"
"[reading Gracie's letter to Joe] My love... after you left tonight, I thought about the kind of life we could have if things were different. If I had been born later, or you long ago. But who knows what we would have been like then. Or where. What tragedies we'd have to face along the way. What bad luck. This is not what I ever would have wanted. But I'm so... grateful that our paths led us to this road, no matter what the cost. I think about you all the time and the feeling I get when we look each other in the eyes. Do you feel that too? I know you don't have much to compare it to, but... let me assure you. It is rare. I've gone my whole life without it. And now that I've found it, I can't imagine going back and pretending. Sometimes I wish we'd never met, or that you didn't get the job in the pet shop at least, because I know that our lives will be forever changed because of this no matter how it all turns out. I know that my husband and my children... I... I know that this will affect them too. My hope is that we can keep our secrets long enough until at least we're in no danger from the law. Maybe by then I'll have enough time to end things cleanly, and to make sure that the children know that I love them. And maybe by then we'll have figured out what to say. When this first started, I didn't know what to think. I knew that we'd crossed a line, and I felt in my heart that we would cross it again. But now I think... I've lost track of where the line is. Who even draws these lines? All I know is that I love you and you love me. And you gave me so much pleasure tonight. I hope I did the same for you. I'll see you Saturday. Please burn this. you know what could happen to me if anyone ever found it. Your Gracie."
"[During a Q&A for high school students, Elizabeth is asked what it's like to film sex scenes] Well... sometimes it's really mechanical, like a choreographed dance, you know, where the only thing you can focus on is where you're supposed to be, and when. And then sometimes there's real chemistry between two people and you start feeling like it's real. In a strange way. You'd never admit it to one another, but you're wearing practically nothing and you're rubbing up against each other... [whispering] and sweating... [normal speech] and it's for hours... and you start losing the line, of like, am I pretending that I'm experiencing pleasure, or am I... Am I pretending that I'm not experiencing pleasure? And the whole crew, they're almost always all men. You feel them watching. And you feel them, like... [deep breath] ...holding their breath. [whispering] And they try and hide it when they swallow. [sighs, normal speech] You give into the rhythm, you know, every time. Tension never breaks."
"Julianne Moore - Gracie"
"Insecure people are very dangerous, aren't they? I'm secure. Make sure you put that in there."
"Lawrence Arancio - Morris Sperber"
"Piper Curda - Honor Atherton-Yoo"
"D. W. Moffett - Tom Atherton"
"Gabriel Chung - Charlie Atherton-Yoo"
"Charles Melton - Joe Yoo"
"Cory Michael Smith - Georgie"
"Natalie Portman - Elizabeth"
"Well, I'm not gonna cross-examine you, say what you wanna say."
"Honor, I got you that scale, as I told you at the time, as a tradition, because that's what my mother got me when I graduated from high school. You try going through life without a scale. See how that goes."
"Elizabeth Yu - Mary Atherton-Yoo"
"[to his son] God, I can't tell if we're connecting, or if I'm creating a bad memory for you in real time, but I can't help it."
"Scott Seiss β Tom"
"Aaron Holiday β Stache"
"Ray Liotta β Syd"
"Ayoola Smart β Officer Reba"
"I am taking the f***ing children home!"
"Get in line."
"Kahyun Kim β Beth"
"β Ranger Liz"
"Bob: Apex predator... high on cocaine... and you're going towards it?"
"Eddie: The bear, it fucking did cocaine. A BEAR. DID. COCAINE!"
"Stache: It's like cocaine Christmas."
"Elsa: We have such good luck in nature."
"I'd love to not remember this. But it kind of seems like the thing that stays with a man forever."
"That was so messed up. That little man was an expert on bears, but he didn't know that bear was the cocaine bear."
"No, I'm not leaving without that cocaine!"
"When the plane's going down, the pilot knows where to dump our load and we just go and get it."
"News Anchor: Millions of dollars worth of cocaine fell from the sky this morning in Knoxville, Tennessee."
"They are gonna come after me, my family, if I don't get them every penny's worth."
"Inspired by true events."
"[after telling the tale of the Tar Baby] Well, sir, you ain't never seen nobody that had humble-come-tumbledness down as fine as what Brer Rabbit had it then. Poor little critter, he learned a powerful lesson. But he learned it too late. But it just goes to show what comes of mixin' up with somethin' you got no business with in the first place. And don't you never forget it."