"Taught to us by our Cossack cousins, the Mamushka has been an Addams family tradition since God knows when. We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled. We danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper. And now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you."

"Spirits above me, give me a sign! Shall I be joyous, or shall I be damned?"

""How do you take it off?" That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his 10th birthday! He wore that finger trap for two years! Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet!"

"[Watching Morticia sleep] Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss."

"[to Tully] Dirty pool, old man. I like it!"

"[watching Pugsley sleep] He looks so sweet... just like a little entrée."

"They say she danced naked in the town square and enslaved a minister! But don't worry, we told Wednesday, "College first.""

"[looking through an armoire] Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe... Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe... Uncle Nick-Nack..."

"Don't torture yourself, Gomez- that's my job."

"Thing, you're a handful."

"Wednesday, play with your food!"

"And our credo, "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc"..."We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Not just pretty words."

"[looking through Fester's suitcase] Crowbar... dynamite... cyanide. Fester- as if we'd run out."

"I mean I could see myself in movies Robert De Niro had been in. Or I could maybe do an Al Pacino movie, play a hard-on. But I couldn't see myself in ones, like say the one where the three guys get stuck with a baby. They don't know how to take care of it and you see these big grown-up assholes acting cute."

"Bobby Slayton - Dick Allen"

"Jacob Vargas - Yayo Portillo"

"Renee Props - Nicki"

"Linda Hart - Fay Devoe"

"Jon Gries - Ronnie Wingate"

"Miguel Sandoval - Mr. Escobar"

"Martin Ferrero - Tommy Carlo"

"David Paymer - Leo Devoe"

"James Gandolfini - Bear"

"Delroy Lindo - Bo Catlett"

"Dennis Farina - Ray "Bones" Barboni"

"Danny DeVito - Martin Weir"

"Rene Russo - Karen Flores"

"Gene Hackman - Harry Zimm"

"John Travolta - Chili Palmer"

"Attitude plays a part"

"I'm glad you rejected me ten years ago when I auditioned for Eddie Solomon, the pedophile clown in Birthday Boy. Had I gotten the part. I might've gotten typecast."

"You cut straight hair here or just fags?"

"Yeah well, I hope you drive better than you fucking spell, jack-off. My name is Barboni, not Barbone, okay!"

"Chili Palmer. Chilly outside. Chili inside. It's a regular fuckin' chili-fest. Hey, waiter, give Mr. Chili Pepper a big fuckin' bowl of chili!"

"Movie stars never pick up the check. They have no idea what things cost. Most of them don't know their zip code and a lot don't even know their own phone number."

"I don't think the producer has to do much, outside of maybe knowing a writer."

"Listen, Touch of Evils playing near my hotel. You wanna go check it out, watch Charlton Heston play a Mexican?"

"Look at me, Leo. I wouldn't think you're that dumb, leave over three hundred grand in the closet, underneath the extra blanket, but I guess you are."

"You know, Welles didn't even wanna do that one. Some studio made him do it. He owed 'em one and all his own movies lost money. But, hey, sometimes that's when you do your best work, you got a gun to your head."

"Rough business, this movie business. I may have to go back to loan sharking for a rest."

""It" didn't slip away, Martin. You did when you went off to fuck Nicki in the middle of my birthday party."

"Yeah, well Martin is known for his flipping. He flips over a script, and when the time comes to make a deal, he flips out."

"I know I'm better than what I've been doing the last ten years, walking around in fuck-me pumps and a tank top, waiting till it's time to scream."

"I spent all day crawling out of a grave. The costumer kept bitching 'cause I was ripping my nylons."