"We live in a small town in Southern California called San Marino. I love this town, and not just because it's the kind of place where people still smile at each other but because it hasn't changed much in the past twenty-five years. And since I'm not a guy who's big on change, this town fits me like a glove. I got Annie's ten-speed all cleaned up and polished. New seat, new tires...I couldn't wait to show it to her. This is our house. 24 Maple Drive. Annie was just in grammar school when we bought it. A few years later, we got a surprise package: our son, Matt. I love this house. I love that I taught my kids to ride their bikes in the driveway. I love that I slept with them in tents in the backyard. I love that we carved our initials in the tree out front. This house is warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and looks spectacular with Christmas lights. It's a great house. I never want to move. But the thing I think I like best about this house are the voices I hear when I walk through the door."

"I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. A boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say "I do." I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own. My daughter's. Annie Banks-MacKenzie. That's her married name. MacKenzie. I'll be honest with you. When I bought this house seventeen years ago, it cost me less than this blessed event in which Annie Banks became Annie Banks-MacKenzie. I'm told that one day I'll look back on all this with great affection and nostalgia. I hope so. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never imagine. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. How she used to sit in my lap and lean her head against my chest. She said that I was her hero. Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced and she wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. Next thing you know she's wearing eye shadow and high heels. From that moment on, you're in a constant state of panic. You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys, the kind of guys who only want one thing—and you know exactly what that one thing is because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then she gets a little older and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy and you worry about her meeting the right guy. And that's the biggest fear of all because then you lose her. And before you know it, you're sitting all alone in a big, empty house, wearing rice on your tux, wondering what happened to your life. It was just six months ago that it happened here. Just six months ago that the storm broke."

"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

"Knowl Johnson - Tommy Eatonton"

"Jonathan Ward - Jonathan Eatonton"

"Tom Hodges - Louie Jones"

"Kevin J. O'Connor (actor) - Sammy Desoto"

"Dylan McDermott - Jackson Latcherie"

"Ann Wedgeworth - Aunt Fern Thornton"

"Bill McCutcheon - Owen Jenkins"

"Sam Shepard - Spud Jones"

"Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the '80s. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past."

"Tom Skerritt - Drum Eatenton"

"Julia Roberts - Shelby Eatenton Latcherie"

"Olympia Dukakis - Clairee Belcher"

"Daryl Hannah - Annelle Dupuy Desoto"

"Shirley MacLaine - Louisa "Ouiser" Boudreaux"

"Dolly Parton - Truvy Jones"

"Sally Field - Mary Lynn "M'Lynn" Eatenton"

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

"The funniest movie ever to make you cry."

"Sometimes laughter is a matter of life and death."

"Well, as somebody always said: if you can't say anything nice about anybody, come sit by me!"

"I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!"

"Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister."

"Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad"

"January Jones - Cadence Flaherty"

"Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers"

"Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch"

"Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty"

"Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler"

"Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein"

"Forever hold your piece."

"This time they're going all the way."

"Jim's Dad: Son, step away from the animal..."

"I did fuck your Mom... Twice!"

"Oh, Stifler's Mom!"

"Voltaire can suck on my balls!"

"Hey I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!"

"Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you."