"Mordred: [to Arthur about Guenevere] What a magnificent dilemma! Let her die, your life is over; let her live, your life's a fraud. Which will it be, Arthur? Do you kill the Queen or kill the law?"

"Laurence Naismith - Merlyn"

"Lionel Jeffries - King Pellinore"

"David Hemmings - Mordred"

"Franco Nero - Lancelot"

"The adage, "Blood is thicker than water," was invented by undeserving relatives."

"I love them and they answer me with pain and torment. Be it sin or not sin, they betray me in their hearts and that's far sin enough. I can feel it in their eyes, I can feel it when they speak, and they must pay for it and be punished. I shall not be wounded and not return it in kind! I'm through with feeble hoping! I demand a man's vengeance! [Calming down] Proposition: I'm a king, not a man. And a civilized king. Could it possibly be civilized to destroy what I love? Could it possibly be civilized to love myself above all? What of their pain and their torment? Did they ask for this calamity? Can passion be selected?"

"All we've been through, for nothing but an idea! Something that you cannot taste, smell, or feel; without substance, life, reality, memory."

"I dreamed ... I dreamed."

"Merlyn told me once: Never be too disturbed if you don't understand what a woman is thinking. They don't do it often."

"Proposition: It's far better to be alive than to be dead."

"[singing] And -what of teaching me by turning me to animal and bird, From beaver to the smallest bobolink! I should have had a -whirl At changing to a girl, To learn the way the creatures think!"

"Merlyn, why have you never taught me love and marriage?"

"Pellinore: Forgive the interruption. Anyone here seen a beast with the head of a serpent, the body of a boar and the tail of a lion, baying like forty hounds?"

"I am irritating. I always will be. All fanatics are bores, Pellinore, and I'm a fanatic. Even when I was a child I irritated the other children. I wanted to play their games, but I knew I could not. Even then I was filled with a sense of divine purpose. I'm not saying I enjoy it. All my life I've locked the world out. And, you know, when you lock the world out, you're locked in."

"C'est moi!"

"Must we talk about Mordred? This is the first time in a month that he's not coming to dinner and not having him makes it seem like a party!"

"[about Mordred] The one thing I can say for him is that he's bound to marry well. Everybody is above him."

"Just when I reach the golden age of eligibility and wooability. Is my fate determined by love and courtship? Oh, no. [Bitterly] Clause one: fix the border; Clause two: establish trade; Clause three: deliver me; Clause four: stop the war; five, six: pick up sticks. How cruel! How unjust! Am I never to know the joys of maidenhood? The conventional, ordinary, garden variety joys of maidenhood?"

"[angrily] Mordred, I must remind you that I am a civilized man. With occasional lapses."

"[to Mordred] Far more seasoned rascals than you have polished their souls, I advise you, get out the wax. Better to be rubbed clean than rubbed out."

"[singing] Ask ev'ry person if he's heard the story; And tell it strong and clear if he has not: That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory Called Camelot. Camelot! Camelot!"

"Merlyn! Merlyn, make me a hawk. Let me fly away from here!"

"This summer, Prince Akeem discovers America."

"[looking at the behinds of the Miss Black Awareness pageant contestants] I didn't come to preach to you today...But you know, when I look at these contestants! For the Miss Black Awareness Pageant, I feel good! I feel good, because I know there's a God somewhere! There's a God somewhere! Turn around ladies for me please! You know there's a God who sits on high and looks down low! Man cannot make it like this! Larry Flynt! Hugh Hefner! They can take the picture, but they can't make it! Only God above, the Hugh Hefner on high, can make it for ya!"

"Samuel L. Jackson - Hold Up Man at McDowell's"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. - Boy in Barber Shop"

"Allison Dean - Patrice McDowell"

"Eriq La Salle - Darryl Jenks"

"Shari Headley - Lisa McDowell"

"Madge Sinclair - Queen Aoleon"

"John Amos - Cleo McDowell"

"James Earl Jones - King Jaffe Joffer"

"Arsenio Hall - Semmi/Morris/Reverend Brown/last (ugly) woman in bar scene."

"Eddie Murphy - Prince Akeem/Clarence/Randy Watson/Saul"

"The Four Funniest Men in America are Eddie Murphy."

"Now I want you to reach onto God's unchanging hand. He helped Joshua fight the Battle of Jericho. He helped Daniel escape the lion's den. He helped Gilligan get off the island."