"In his best-selling book Love for Imperfect Things, Zen Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim proves that things don’t need to be faultless in order for them to be good or adored. They can be cherished and retain their inherent value in spite of their failings, much like human beings themselves."

"Over the past century, socialism and/or communism has been attempted in more than two dozen places… None of them has succeeded. OK, some might have failed more spectacularly than other, but none of them has triumphed, at least not for more than a few months in the early stages. Why? Because, for all of capitalism’s flaws, radical socialism and communism—which are essentially two cheeks of the same arse—do not work in practice. They sound good and worthy, but they cannot withstand the ultimate stress-test of life."

"The students had every right to set their own rules, but I had the right to say their rules were stupid and make fun of them."

"George Carlin, probably the world’s greatest-ever comedian, once said that the comedian’s job is to find the line and then cross it."

"The message I was given was clear: there is only one acceptable way of telling jokes and, if you don’t conform to it, then you should expect your career to die. It was all very, very Soviet."

"The big difference between those ‘alternative’ comedians and today’s activists is that the former actually pushed against the establishment. They challenged the formula and rewrote the rules, whereas modern-day wokeness is the establishment. It sets the rules and enforces the punishments. Every major comedy agent, TV commissioner and producer is looking for the next woke act, preferably one who ticks as many diversity boxes as possible. This isn’t a bottom-up revolution; it’s a totalitarian cult in which people with power tell everyone else what they can and can’t joke about."

"But it’s not only comics who are self-censoring: increasing numbers of audience members are filing complaints against venues for allowing acts to ‘upset’ them. Years ago, such people would’ve been laughed out of town and told to grow up, but these days they’re taken seriously."

"Many comedians I’ve spoken to agree that this kind of entitled, moralistic response is more commonplace than ever before. Perhaps it’s related to what psychologists have identified as a general escalation of narcissistic behaviour. Or maybe it’s an inevitable by-product of social media, through which offence-seeking has turned into a kind of amateur sport."

"It was a complete overreaction and disconnected from reality, but that’s the norm."

"If you’ve ever wondered why comedians—the very people who are supposed to push boundaries and challenge dogma—would embrace the cozy conformity of wokeness, then allow me to explain: it’s fundamentally about power. It’s not about making people laugh any more, it’s about securing the reins of cultural power, which to a large degree they have already done."

"[On the Pink Panther films] I had a scene with Peter [Sellers] in my office. He said something like, "Don't worry chief, I'll settle it," and gave me an encouraging wink. So I started winking out of nervousness, and couldn't stop. It wasn't in the script but Blake Edwards [the director] loved it. But it became a problem. I made those films for 20 years, and after 10 years they ran out of good scripts. They used to say to me, "Herbert, wink here, wink." And I said, "I'm not going to wink. You write a good scene and I won't have to wink.""

"Peter [Sellers] was always a mixed-up guy, a childish fellow. But if you're fond of children, you're also fond of childish men. He was always very helpful to me. After he was famous, and when I was still in trouble with the US embassy, he wrote a letter in support of me which was magnificent. But it is true that he was very cruel to his children. He was so hurt by the way children treat you when you're their father. I have been hurt by my children. But he was not in possession of a proper brain when it came to these things."

"Goldyloppers trittly-how in the early mordy, and she falolloped down the steps. Oh unfortunade for cracking of the eggers and the sheebs and the buttery full-falollop and graze the knee-clappers. So she had a Vaselubrious, rub it on and a quick healy huff and that was that."

"Are you all sitty comftybold two-square on your botty? Then I'll begin."

"This is a very good question and topicold. I would say that if the forward line have a symmetrical teamworkers and that they can from the first passit of the ball... take in mind the measured beat of a one, two, throo or fido... so that the ball can falollop out to the wingers and a very fine trittly how in a run and drop-kick and carry one and shooting in the goal if they can get by without an offsiger which is known on the ref and don't throw the bottload because he's only doing his best. But, er, it'll be hard on their halfbackers because I don't think they'll get a chance to do a falolloper shooty on account of the front line with their deep joy of, shall we say, an express in their enthusiasm to the first who to clop falollop in the goalmouth. Oh yes. Anyway it's a very good question, sir. It's not much about music excepting that half-time in the band falolloped huffalo-dowd."

"With your Elvis Presley and wasp-waist and swivel-hippy, show you had, and I must say it showed it first self in pictures with the rhythmic contrapole of the wobbling of the hipper, sideways with the head and tilty, gave him that expression both also with a little doggy-lublike in the eyebold which he conveyed to the smaller femailode of the specie, coupled with his music because he did trittly-how fine on the strims, helped him along the roamer [....] I heard it first of all on a record in the early mordy: I was doing the shavit-huff with my razor blade, which of course is a safety one, and suddenly, suddenly he did a little syncopole or a drop-it and how, or something he did and caused a jerkit over a pimplode and I've been suffering ever since!"

"Now, of cause like all real-life experience storie, this also begins once a polly tito."