"For years, I've been taking care of this little boy. Making sure he's loved, that he feels like he belongs wherever he wants to be. He wants to go out into the world and do great big things. And what I worry about the most, is they won't look out for you like us."

"Jefferson "Jeff" Davis-Morales –"

"What did you just say? "Chai tea?!" "Chai" means "tea", bro! You're saying "tea tea!" Would I ask you for a coffee-coffee with a room of cream-cream?"

"Wherever you go from here, you have to promise to take care of that little boy for me. Make sure he never forgets where he came from. And never doubts that he's loved. And he never lets anyone tell him that he doesn't belong there. You got to promise me, Miles."

"Listen to me, bruv: the whole point of being Spider-Man is your independence. Being your own boss. You don't need all this!"

"Just for a record, I quit."

"Hey, who's the new guy?"

"I am the Spot."

"YOU BLEW ANOTHER HOLE IN THE MULTIVERSE!"

"Everywhere you go, you're an anomaly! You're the original anomaly! [Gwen: MIGUEL!] The spider that gave you your powers wasn't from your dimension! It was never supposed to bite you! [Gwen: Miguel, don't!] There's a world out there with no Spider-Man to protect them because it bit you instead! You're not supposed to be Spider-Man! [Miles: No, you're lying! I'm Spider-Man!] You're a MISTAKE! If you hadn't been bit, your Peter Parker would have lived! Instead, he died saving you! He would've stopped the collider before it ever went off... Spot wouldn't exist, and none of this... [Miles: Peter!] ...would've happened. And all this time, I have been the only one holding it all together!! [Peter: Miguel, GO EASY ON HIM!] You don't belong here -- you never did."

"[Gwen: Are you…?] Oh, this? We don't know the sex yet. My husband wants it to be a surprise. He's really corny, but so hot."

"Miles, there's moments in our stories that are the same for all of us. Some good. Some bad."

"Don't tell Mom."

"You have a choice between saving one person and saving an entire world. Every world."

"A'ight, my name's Hobie -- Hobie Brown. I was bitten by a-- Wouldn't you like to know? You know what I mean? And for the last three years, I've been the one and only-- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You think I'm gonna show you my secret identity? Come out of it. That is, when I'm not playing shows, antagonizing fascists, staging unpermitted political actions/performing art pieces or having a laugh at the pub with the mandem. I'm not a role model. I was briefly a runway model. I hate the A.M! I hate the P.M! I hate labels! I'm not a hero -- because calling yourself a hero makes you a self-mythologizing narcissistic autocrat."

"[From the Trailer] It’s not funny."

"[Last lines] You want in?"

"I never found the right band to join, so I started my own, with a few old friends."

"Come on. Go easy on the kid. He had a terrible teacher."

"Miguel, this isn't what we talked about!"

"You left a hole wide enough for guys like him to randomly get shot into the wrong dimension. Now I'm stuck putting everybody back where they belong before all of time and space collapses! And don't even get me started on Doctor Strange and the little nerd on Earth-199999!"

"[self-narrating] My name is Miguel O'Hara. I'm this dimension's one and only Spider-Man... at least, I was. But I'm not like the others. I don't always like what I have to do, but I know I have to be one to do it. I've given up too much to stop now."

"All stations, stop what you're doing and stop Spider-Man!"

"You can't run forever, kid!"

"That's exactly what you are! You're just a kid who has no... idea... WHAT HE'S DOING!!!"

"Miles, we all want to live the life we wish we had. Believe me, I have tried. And the harder I tried, the more damage I did. You can't have it all, kid. Being Spider-Man is a sacrifice. That's the job. That's what you signed up for."

"[Miles: How are you even cooler under the mask?] I was this cool the whole time."

"Here we go... [Jessica: Hobie, you're not helping.] Good."

"This kid is an anarchist."

"[to Mayday] Taking a crap on the establishment, I salute you."

"[Miles: I'm sorry. Who are you?] I'm glad you asked, new guy. [Miles: I’m not a new guy.] My name is Pavitr Prabhakar. And for the past six months… [Miles: Six? And even he got a watch.] [Gwen: Yeah, uh…]"

"Being Spider-Man is so easy. I wake up, skip the workout 'cause I'm naturally buff and I don't wanna get too big, y'know? Do almost nothing with my amazing hair... [Miles: You don't use any product at all?] Just coconut oil, prayer, some genetics. Then I swing by school, don't really have to try, but I do anyway. I fight a few bad guys, feed a few stray dogs, quick break for a cup of chai with my Maya Auntie."

"Then I hang out with my girlfriend, Gayatri. She's an extremely classy teenager. Hey, girl. Tonight, I was thinking... Aah, hello! Police Inspector Singh, this is your daughter, I do not know her. And to top it off, I live in the best possible Spider-Man city, Mumbattan. Quick tour. This is where the traffic is, this is where the traffic is, this is also where the traffic is, there's traffic here too. And this is where the British stole all of our stuff!"

"[Miles: I'm Spider-Man.] Oh, no way! All of us are."

"I can't lose one more friend."

"Will you adopt me? [Jessica: What?] What?"

"I'm so sorry. First of all, I'm not even robbing you. I mean, this ATM machine doesn't even belong to you, right? This belongs to the bank. They're the real criminals."

"Unfortunately for both of us, this is skin."

"We are supposed to be the good guys."

"You say, "The fate of the multiverse," and my brain dies."