"Cindy, the news is on! Another little white girl done fell down a well. Fifty black people got they ass beat by polic…"

"Hell with you."

"[After accidentally killing Tom's wife with his truck] Tom, I'll need a ride home."

"(telling future to a pregnant woman) It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole."

"My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I."

"I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself.…"

"She scared the horses, killed the puppies, hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife killed her by drowning her in a …"

"[after watching a rap battle] I thought you were both absolutely dreadful. Ghastly. I don't know what I'm doing here.…"

"Right. Let's see if we can steer that course keeping everybody deeply disturbed. We don't want a panic. Very few pres…"

"I just got a weird feeling something bad is heading my way. Like when you see an Asian person behind the wheel of a car."