"Dina! Wake up and make Greg a cappuccino! Shake a leg, woman!"

"Now, I've never met your parents, so I'm not going to jump to any hasty conclusions. But, like studying a frozen cave…"

"I said "No monkey business"!"

"I'm not so sure this wedding is such a good idea. I don't like what I'm seeing from these Fockers."

"We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL."

"(to Jack) I'm wondering why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest!"

"Mom, I'm truly not comfortable having this conversation with you. I've been telling you that since I was eleven."

"[into Jack's spy-camera, during end credits] Hey, look at me, Jack. What am I? [gruff voice] I am a frozen caveman! S…"

"Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes"

"I am watching you. Guess who's here. It's Professor Einstein."